Bad thoughts: What you can do about it

November 02, 2019

Depending on how your life is going, you may suffer from bad thoughts. Bad thoughts are thoughts other than negative thoughts. For example, bad thoughts are thoughts of going down the criminal path anyway or of hurting someone who has done something to you. Of course, this is not very helpful and most people know that.

Therefore, you usually don't do anything with those bad thoughts, but they are very annoying. That's why in this blog I discuss bad thoughts and what you can do about them

Bad thoughts as a mother

Bad thoughts can come up at all sorts of times. The most studied are bad thoughts that can come when you have just become a mother.

This does not necessarily mean you suffer from postpartum depression, but it can be a symptom of it. Researchers indicate that thoughts of hurting your baby are more common among new mothers, but because it's such a taboo subject (obviously) not many mothers know about it[1]. You obviously don't want to hurt your baby at all, but the thought does cross your mind that it could.

This can have all sorts of negative consequences. For example, you might start wondering if you’re a good mother, and you might feel guilty for even having those kinds of thoughts. So it directly affects your emotions and your new identity as a mother. You hadn’t anticipated these negative thoughts beforehand.

Hypnosis and mindfulness can help you cope better with these thoughts. With mindfulness, for example, you can take a moment to breathe calmly and take in everything your senses are telling you, allowing you to let go of the negative thought.

In addition, hypnotic suggestions can help you feel less burdened by the idea that those negative thoughts make you a bad mother. These suggestions might include, for example:

"Thoughts are just thoughts."

"What you do is what counts."

"Your thoughts say nothing about your identity."

These are just examples. Depending on your thoughts and how they affect you, a hypnotist may choose to give you other suggestions that better fit the problem.

Criminal Minds

Criminal thoughts are often the precursor to actual criminal behavior. Unfortunately, criminal thoughts are not always recognized as bad thoughts. Criminal thoughts often stem from certain beliefs, such as:

You are special enough that you are allowed to break the law / take things from other people / do something to other people.
You think you can get away with anything.
You may do criminal things because you also do good things (bit of Robin Hood-like reasoning).
The world is bad, so I get to do bad.
I may control / do something to other people[2].

It is therefore important to identify where those beliefs that lead to criminal thoughts originate, so that you can address them before you actually engage in criminal behavior.

For example, many people believe that bullies are more likely to become criminals. And that’s true—they are more likely to have criminal thoughts. Victims of bullying are also at a higher risk of developing criminal thoughts.

So, in the case of bullies, you might think they have been given the belief somewhere that they are special or can get away with anything. In the case of victims of bullying, it is rather the reasoning that the world is bad, so why do good that creates criminal thoughts.

Especially if you are a victim of bullying, you are more likely to have criminal thoughts just like the 100% bullies.

Gender does not matter for criminal thoughts[3].

Because criminal thoughts often stem from unhealthy beliefs, it is important to stop those criminal thoughts by changing the unhealthy beliefs.

To do this, it’s often particularly important to identify where that unhealthy belief originated. With hypnosis, we often do this through regression.

With regression, you go back to the moment when your subconscious first received the unhealthy belief. This is often a moment in your childhood. Maybe you got away with stealing a candy from the store once, maybe you were bullied, maybe you got away with something because you did everything else right. Your subconscious knows exactly which moment this was and this is different for everyone.

Then the hypnotist helps you see this moment in a different way. For example, you empathize with the other people who were present in that situation. You allow yourself to grow up again in your mind, but in a way where everything is better.

If you're reading this, this may sound very strange. In fact, this works especially when you are under hypnosis because you are incredibly open to suggestions and change. Therefore, you really need to experience the hypnosis for changing your beliefs and therefore your bad thoughts.

Bad sexual thoughts

People can also have all kinds of bad sexual thoughts. Some thoughts belong to compulsive disorder where you force yourself to think about sex. Other bad sexual thoughts belong to paraphilia[4]. When you suffer from paraphilia, you do not get aroused by sex with an equal partner, but need some kind of power differential. This can be very innocent, but unfortunately it can also get incredibly out of control when you need to harm other people around you for sexual pleasure.

Paraphilia includes namely:

Voyeuristic disorder (watching people have sex)
Exhibitionist disorder (the pencil peddler)
Frotteuristic disorder (getting aroused by involuntary sexual contact / rubbing against someone, for example)
Masochistic disorder (wanting to hurt yourself for sexual pleasure)
Sadistic disorder (wanting to hurt another person for sexual pleasure)
Pedophilic disorder (getting aroused by children)
Fetishistic disorder (getting aroused by objects or certain clothing)
Transvestic disorder (getting aroused by wearing clothes of the opposite sex)
Necrophilia et al.

There are still harmless solutions for a few of these disorders, such as bondage and SM with someone who likes it too. Yet even that can get completely out of hand because the disorder makes you like to go outside the "rules."

You're not in for that kind of thinking either.

It is important to have good differentiation between the compulsive thoughts and the bad thoughts that just get you excited. This is because this is incredibly important for getting the right treatment. Therefore, check for yourself whether it is a compulsive thought or a thought that gets you sexually aroused.

Most people who suffer from paraphilia do not become happy about it themselves.

Researchers indicate that some forms of paraphilia serve as a defense mechanism for the person affected, helping them cope with other fears and/or a distressed relationship with their mother [5].

Little research has been done on what treatment people with these types of disorders can receive when they seek help. What is clear, however, is that it works better when the therapist is warm and nonjudgmental. A confrontational style does not help[6].

Stopping bad thoughts

When you’re struggling with negative thoughts, you naturally want to stop them. You can stop negative thoughts using mindfulness techniques to calm yourself.

One technique, for example, is to stand still for a moment. Feel your feet on the ground and take a few deep breaths with your eyes closed. Then open your eyes and, for a moment, observe all the signals of your senses, what you feel, see, smell and hear.

This may be enough to at least pause the train of thought.

In addition, it's good to realize that thoughts are just thoughts, as long as you don't do it, it's often not a problem.

In addition, hypnosis can help you identify which unconscious belief is the source of your bad thoughts. Then you can use hypnosis to do something to change those unconscious beliefs.

Would you like to learn more about how hypnosis works and what you can achieve with it? Then come to a hypnosis workshop to get acquainted with hypnosis. The workshops are held in Wormerveer and Zwolle.

Would you like to get started right away with techniques to help yourself and others? Then sign up for one of the courses. The courses are held in Wormerveer, Zwolle, or online.

[1] https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02646838.2019.1657819

[2] http://eprints.hud.ac.uk/id/eprint/15906/

[3] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/ab.20377

[4] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1077722916300578

[5] https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13642537.2018.1459768

[6] https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Liam_Marshall/publication/275359700_Psychological_Treatment_of_the_Paraphilias_a_Review_and_an_Appraisal_of_Effectiveness/links/5550b5f308ae739bdb91f954.pdf