Always worried about all kinds of things, what to do?

Life is exciting and there is much you cannot control, but fortunately there is also much you can control. Still, you can suffer from a lot of worries about all kinds of things in your life. Are you constantly worrying whether something will go well and are you starting to get sick of yourself? Then this is a blog you should read

Worry and Concern

Having worries is quite normal. For example, you might worry about whether you’ll achieve your goals. Or whether you’ll pass a certain exam with a good grade. Or whether your children are happy and safe. Or whether your partner is happy with you. It can be about all sorts of things.

It's perfectly normal to feel anxious from time to time. Research shows that you worry, for example, when certain values you value are compromised. For example, when it comes to passing the exam, it is your belief that being able to prove that you had a good education is important. When it comes to whether your children are happy and safe it is about the value that your children should be happy and perhaps even the value that this means you are a good parent.

Worry occurs when you fear that your actions or the actions of those around you will cause the situation to not become what you wish it to be. So you have a certain goal or image in your mind of the ideal situation, and when you get anxious about that part of your life you are actually a little afraid that this ideal image is not going to be achieved.

Scientists have distinguished 2 types of concerns from each other, micro concerns and macro concerns[1].

Micro concerns are concerns related to the people you interact with. The group you identify with or the people you see as an extension of yourself, usually your partner and/or children.

Macro concerns are concerns that relate to worries you have about society, for example. If you care about politics, those are macro concerns.

Research also shows that if you suffer a lot from micro-concerns this says something about your mental health, namely that it could be better. On the other hand, do you have a lot of macro-concerns, for example, about unemployment in society, the environmental issue, the immigration issue and the state of the EU? Then you are generally doing very well. Your well-being is then of a higher level than when you have a lot of micro concerns.

How to deal with worry.

Worry, then, has to do with an ideal image you have in your mind and the feeling that the actions that are about to be carried out do not provide this ideal image.

This ideal image comes from somewhere, and that is your beliefs. Beliefs are like your opinions about how the world works and how you can function in it. A first solution can be to check if your beliefs about how the world works are logical and correct.

Perhaps you’re very worried that your child is unhappy because she suddenly cut off all her hair and wants to go through life with a short hairstyle, even though this might just be a phase that girls go through. Just as boys sometimes suddenly enjoy letting their hair grow long.

Determine what your ideal image is based on

One way to check your beliefs is with a Socratic conversation. In this conversation, the why question is repeated several times to get to the core of your beliefs. Then you can immediately check how logical they are.

You can have a Socratic conversation with a hypnosis expert while under hypnosis.

Write down your concerns

Are you worried about achieving your own goals and how well you’re doing? Research shows that writing down your concerns leads to improved performance.

This study examined students who were anxious about their upcoming test. Just before the test, they had to write down their thoughts about taking the test, their worries, so to speak, and what did it turn out? The students who had written down their worries first subsequently did better on the test than those who had not.

And here’s another fun fact about this study: Students who frequently experienced anxiety, such as fear of failure, actually performed significantly better on the test[2]!

Take advantage of mindfulness

Worries are usually about the future, and when you’re anxious, you often picture all sorts of worst-case scenarios about how everything could go wrong. This is very disruptive if, for example, you’re worrying about something in your personal life while you’re at work. It breaks your concentration, and that can be quite disruptive.

So try to stay present in the here and now. By practicing mindfulness, you’ll learn to consciously take in sensory input so you can focus on what you’re doing in the moment. This will help reduce the amount of time you spend worrying.

Note! It takes practice to be mindful. So if you don't succeed immediately, that's not a problem. With mindfulness, what really applies is that practice makes perfect.

Change your beliefs

Beliefs about how the world works and should be form the basis of your ideal image and especially the route toward it. Especially when that route toward it is under pressure, it can cause you to become anxious. While everyone knows that there are several roads leading to Rome.

By changing or revising your beliefs about how the world works, you can find out what other paths there are to take toward the ideal.

Socratic conversation helps you figure out your beliefs. You can also use regression to find out why you think things must necessarily go the way you have in your head.

With regression, you go back to the moment when a belief first arose. These are often moments from childhood, which is why they can sometimes be quite surprising. Because many beliefs form during that time, they can also be illogical.

Because regression allows you to look at that moment with more emotional distance and with more knowledge about life, you can quickly get rid of illogical beliefs.

Hypnotic suggestions to reduce worry

After a regression and/or Socratic conversation, you will know approximately what beliefs you have and one belief will help you reduce worries and another will not. Hypnotic suggestions can cause those helping beliefs to come to the forefront of your subconscious and you can even use them to install new beliefs so that they displace the non-helpful beliefs, so to speak.

Hypnotic suggestions are a type of statements that you repeat or listen to daily during self-hypnosis to enhance the effect. These can be propositions such as:

"You can only control what you yourself can influence," he says.

"You are not responsible for the behavior of others."

"Everyone makes their own choices."

"You don't have to think about your worries when you're busy with something else," he says.

These are just examples of hypnotic suggestions. Depending on your concerns and beliefs that you manage to figure out with the hypnosis expert, you can be given other hypnotic suggestions to listen to at home during self-hypnosis.

Relaxation to reduce stress from worry

Being anxious often also causes additional stress. Relaxation is then very important to reduce this, and it also takes your mind off your worries for a while. Hypnosis also promotes relaxation with a guided visualization. You often get these on mp3 to listen to at home during self-hypnosis.

A hypnosis expert will first have a conversation with you about beautiful places you have ever been or that you can imagine where you can completely unwind. This kind of information is then often used in the guided visualization allowing you to imagine being there. Senses other than images, such as imagining smells and feelings such as the warmth of the sun on your skin are also often used to promote relaxation so that you are completely free of worry for a while.

Worrying almost always occurs, but it matters what you worry about. When you worry about yourself or the people around you, it can cause you to suffer from decreased well-being while worrying about the state of the country or the world is characteristic of good well-being.

There are several ways to reduce anxiety, such as writing down your worries, practicing mindfulness, and using hypnosis. Would you like to know how hypnosis can help you or others? Then come to a hypnosis workshop or sign up for one of our training programs.

[1] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1467-6494.00099

[2] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1467-6494.00099