Always concerned with what others think
Sometimes you can think it's very important what others think about you, but how useful is that importance really? If it prevents you from just doing what you like, but keeps you doing what "should" you end up not living your own life. If you are always concerned with what others think, it is incredibly tiring
You can worry about all sorts of things that people think of you. This can be about how you look, what you are doing, and even how they feel about certain life choices you have made[1].
What others think about you
Of course, in some cases, it’s helpful to consider what other people think of you. For example, if you’re about to give a presentation, it’s a good idea to look presentable and not show up in your pajamas.
When someone expresses an opinion, you can quickly relate it to yourself as well. When someone says something about another person you think, "What does he think about me?"
There are several places in your life where you may be bothered by what other people think about you. In your private environment, for example, you may worry about what family and friends think of you, which in itself makes sense.
Having a perception of what other people think of you, for example, is something you do to keep your social relationships good. Especially if you are good at estimating what impression you give, this can be good for your social relationships. For your mood, however, it is more helpful to think that people have a good opinion of you, regardless of whether that thought is true or not[2].
So somewhere, it makes sense that you would be somewhat concerned about how family, friends and colleagues think about you.
But things get a lot more problematic when you care what your neighbor thinks of you. After all, this is a social bond that doesn't have to be very strong.
How people behave in relation to you
Usually you start thinking about what someone thinks of you by how they act toward you. Then consider that people are often more concerned with themselves than with other people. In addition, someone who is short-tempered may also have experienced something unrelated to you and therefore be a bit grumpy.
At work, too, you may worry a lot about what others think of you—such as your manager or colleagues. Usually, that worry centers on whether you’re “good enough” for the job. After all , you want to keep your job.
Still, you may be more strict about what you think other people think about you than is the case.
For example, if you make a small mistake, you might feel really down about it, while your manager may have already forgotten about it within five minutes, because it’s really not that big of a deal.
There are often many explanations that have nothing to do with you. Which explain why someone isn't being completely wonderful to you that day. Someone may have problems in their personal life. Someone may have just experienced something nasty 15 minutes before you.
Mostly, it has nothing to do with you.
You think this yourself
As you may have noticed, the idea that “what you think is what other people think of you” is a thought you have yourself.
These kinds of thoughts about what others think about you can make you very insecure, so as the initial research shows, it's not good for you either.
It’s much easier to believe that people think you’re good enough —whether that’s true or not—than the other way around.
In doing so, people often don't think much about other people at all, but mostly about themselves.
What do you think about others?
If you still suffer from this feeling of what other people think about you, consider this: what are you doing yourself? Are you judging people all day long or are you mostly concerned with the day-to-day things that need to be done?
I'm going to assume for a moment that you're mostly concerned with your work and not so concerned with having judgment on other people.
Do you have one anyway? If so, try cutting back on that. You'll find that this will also make you worry less about what other people think about you.
Why bother
If you worry about what people think of you, when that in itself is not an essential social relationship, it can be problematic. Then it may be helpful to ask yourself why you think it is important to come across well to:
- That neighbor down the street behind you.
- The Cashier.
- The receptionist who is not about your job.
Generally speaking, you might worry about this because of the beliefs you hold about the world and how it works. At some point, you may have developed the belief that it’s important for everyone to think highly of you—or even for anyone to think of you at all.
So this is absolutely not true. Now you can read this, but that doesn't immediately change your feelings.
Fortunately, hypnotherapy can help you change this feeling, so that you only worry about what your close friends think and can otherwise live a more relaxed life.
What generally happens is that, through regression, you trace back to the moment such a belief first arose. You can then reinterpret that moment using the knowledge you have now. This allows you to quickly change connections in your brain, because the memory is“remembered”anew.
This alone can make what others think of you matter a lot less to not at all.
Why do you think they think negatively of you?
Usually, what others think about you only bothers you when you think others think negatively about you. This, of course, is not helpful at all.
In that case, there may be more to it than just being bothered by the thought that others are thinking something about you. After all, if those thoughts are negative, that might also say something about your self-confidence.
Chances are, when you were little, you used to gain self-confidence because your parents, teacher or friends told you that you were good at something. You got approval from other people and that built you up.
Only when you're an adult suddenly there are a lot fewer people giving you a high five when you've done something good. Then you suddenly start paying attention to body language and other signals and try to draw some kind of conclusion from that about what other people think of you.
After all, it’s ultimately your own thoughts that you project onto what you think others think of you.
Therefore, it can also be helpful to work on your self-confidence, to be less bothered by what others think about you.
There are also several ways to achieve this through hypnosis or self-hypnosis.
With self-hypnosis, for example, you can repeat certain suggestions while in the hypnotic state to feel better about yourself. To enter the hypnotic state, you first sit or lie down in a comfortable place. You take a deep breath and relax your body completely. Then you repeat the suggestions, such as:
"I'm good enough."
"My colleagues find me capable."
"My friends love me."
"I have a lot to be thankful for."
These are just examples. Depending on your problems with what others think about you, a hypnotherapist may give you other suggestions to repeat at home.
In addition, of course, you can always give yourself a pat on the back or high five when you've finished something at work or done something good in general to feel even better than just completing a task.
Hypnotherapy to help yourself and others
As mentioned, hypnotherapy can do a lot to be less bothered by what other people think of you. Want to learn more about the techniques or how to come up with good suggestions to make yourself stronger or even help other people as a coach or therapist?
Then come join the free online masterclass on hypnosis.
Or sign up for one of our courses. The courses are taught online, so external factors don’t affect your progress or your learning flow.
Also pin this handy infographic:
Sources:
[1] https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-do-we-care-what-others-think#1
[2] https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2016-30736-001