Why motivation is total nonsense (And what does work)

Welcome to a brand new article. Today we are going to talk about a topic that we all struggle with from time to time, but which is also the subject of the biggest nonsense: motivation.

Let me get right to the point: there is no such thing as motivation. At least, not the way you think it exists.

Have you ever heard yourself say, "I've lost my motivation"? Or, "I've been looking for the motivation to exercise again for weeks"? Stop that. After all, you can't lose motivation at all. Nor can you look for it. Why not? Because it's not a thing.

In this article, I break down the myth of motivation and give you the six real reasons why people do what they do. Once you understand this, you'll never have to "search" for that magical feeling again. Then you'll just start doing it.

Watch the video:

The big motivational lie: It's not a thing!

First, let's get that language error out of your system. People talk about motivation like it's a pair of car keys that have slipped somewhere between the couch cushions. "My motivation is gone. Where is it now?" And then they sit and wait for it to magically knock on the door again.

The same goes for inspiration. “I’m waiting for inspiration.” Well, you might be waiting a long time.

Motivation is not a noun you can own or grasp. It is a verb. It is something you do. You motivate yourself, or you are motivated by external factors. It is a process in your brain, a chemical reaction created by the way you look at your goals and your actions.

So from now on, we don't talk about having, we talk about doing. And how exactly do you do that "motivate yourself"? There are six different ways. Let's peel them off one by one.

1. Make it matter: The power of the "Why.

The very first step to getting started is finding a reason. And I’m not talking about a lame excuse, but a real reason. Why do you do what you do?

Let’s take the example of exercise, since that’s what most people can relate to. You say, “I want to lose weight.” Okay, fine. But that’s a dangerous reason. Why? Because your brain works very simply.

Say you go to the gym for a week, you watch your eating and (bam!) half a kilo is off. Your brain thinks, "Top! Goal achieved!" And what does a person do when the goal is achieved? Then we start rewarding ourselves. And before you know it, you're back on the couch with that bag of M&Ms because you "did such a good job."

You need to go deeper. You have to keep asking the "why question" until you get to your unconscious drive.

• Why do you want to lose weight? Because I want to look good.
• Why do you want to look good? So I can feel more confident.
• Why is that self-confidence important? Because then I’ll finally have the courage to approach that partner or ask for that promotion.

That's where the energy is. You have to make it so important that inaction is no longer an option. If the reason is big enough, the action will come naturally.

2. The Stick: Motivation Through Pain

This is a fierce one, but one that works like a charm. Pain is a huge motivating factor. In my masterminds, I sometimes use an extreme thought experiment. Mind you, this is purely to stimulate your brain:

Imagine I kidnap your children (I have four myself, so I know how that feels). And I say to you: "If you don't do what you need to do today, write that book, make that cold acquisition, do that training, you will get your children back in little chunks by envelope."

Nice story, right? Not really. But do you think you should go looking for "motivation" at that point? Didn't think so. You are instantly 100,000 million billion billion percent motivated to take action. Why? Because the pain of not doing is unbearable.

The same goes for that gun to your head. Or, in my case, a gun to my knee (I'm not that afraid of death, but my kneecap is pretty sweet to me). If the consequence of doing nothing is painful enough, you do run.

The pitfall of pain: Pain works great to begin with. It's the stick. But it's a lousy way to sustain in the long run. Why? Because once the worst pain is gone, so is your motivation.

When your pants fit again and the mirror no longer hurts your eyes every day, why run that extra mile? That's why people start yo-yoing. Once the pressure is off, they sink back into their old behavior.

3. The root: Motivation through fun

If pain is the stick, then pleasure is the carrot. A donkey walks when it gets a slap on the butt (pain), but it keeps walking when a carrot is dangled in front of its nose.

The trick with that carrot? It shouldn't hang too far away, because then that donkey thinks, "Never mind, I'll never make it anyway." But it shouldn't be too close either, because then it's "bite-slick-away" and stands still again. It should be at the exact distance that you just can't reach it, so you keep walking.

People who go to the gym four or five times a week usually don’t do it because they’re in pain. They do it for fun. They look forward to their workouts. They enjoy the sensation in their muscles, the endorphin rush afterward, and even the physical challenge during the workout.

For them, the situation is reversed: they feel pain if they can’t train for a week. Then they become restless, grumpy, and emotionally unbalanced. They’ve linked pleasure to the action and pain to inactivity. That’s the holy grail of behavioral change.

So make sure you find joy in the process, not just in the results. Sometimes training is terribly hard, but I get pleasure from having overcome myself again. That's the deciding factor.

Researchers also indicate that if you need to learn something, for example, like in school, then punishment with a low grade doesn't always help by a long shot. If you can turn it into a game (fun), that does help[1].

4. Autonomy: Being in charge of your own actions

Nothing is more demotivating than feeling like you have to "do" something from someone else. This is why most diet plans fail.

“On Saturday, you have to eat half a banana and three almonds, and on Sunday, you’re only allowed to look at a stalk of broccoli.” Terrible! Your autonomy is completely stripped away. Your brain rebels because it’s no longer allowed to make its own choices. If you want to be successful in forming a new habit, you need to see if you can build autonomy into it.

Research shows that this is also important for people who are neurodiverse, such as those with ADHD[2].

I set up my own work and training sessions to have a tremendous amount of autonomy. In my CrossFit box, the workout is often fixed. No autonomy there, you might say. But my autonomy is in the choice: when do I go? How heavy do I make the weights today? Do I go full out or do I take it a little easier today because my body needs it?

Those little bits of self-determination keep me going. Even when I write a book, I do it my way: I retreat to a place where I can set the pace myself.

If you want to achieve something, make sure you are the director of the plan. Don't follow someone else's rigid rules that don't suit you, but create a framework within which you make the choices.

5. Mastery: The thrill of getting better

Mastery is one of the most powerful human motivators. We want to be good at something[3].

Think of learning to play a musical instrument, such as a guitar. In the beginning, learning is downright k**. Your fingers hurt, you get blisters, and it doesn't sound like anything. If it stayed that way, you'd quit after three days. But then. you learn those first four basic chords.

Suddenly you notice that you can accompany a thousand songs with those four chords. You hear a melody, your fingers do what they're supposed to do, and suddenly it sounds like music. That gives an enormous kick! That is mastery.

Once you notice that you are getting better at something, your motivation rises. You want more. You want to learn that harder riff, or lift that heavier weight.

The trick: Get a little better very quickly. Look for those "quick wins. If you're learning to play guitar, don't spend three months practicing scales first; learn those four chords so you can play a song right away. That enjoyment and affirmation of your own ability will make you persevere when the going gets tough. If you do something for three years and you don't get better, you stop. Logical. So ensure progression.

6. Purpose: The mission bigger than yourself

The final factor is purpose-driven, or as I call it, mission-driven. This goes beyond "what is important to me." This is about The Greater Good. A purpose that transcends your own personality.

Think of people who go door-to-door for their faith. They completely put themselves aside. They get yelled at, the door gets slammed in their faces, but they keep going. Why? Because they have a mission that’s bigger than their own comfort.

This doesn't always have to be religious. Consider a mother who gives up everything for her children's happiness. She wants her children to have opportunities she never had. That is an incredibly strong motivating factor. She sacrifices herself for the next generation.

People who donate blood also often do so because they want to play a role for other people[4].

I’ve dedicated my life to a mission: to inspire others and show them that rapid change in body and mind is possible. That we don’t have to struggle for years, but that there are techniques that make an immediate impact. I find that incredibly fascinating. That’s what gets me out of bed in the morning.

Money is nice and you need it, but at some point money is no longer a motivating factor. A mission is. Ask yourself: For what or for whom am I doing this? If the answer is bigger than yourself, you become unstoppable.

Summary: The six knobs you can turn

Let's list them one more time, the six motivating factors:

1. Why: Find your unconscious drive. Why is this really important to you?
2. Pain: What happens if you don't? (Use this to get started).
3. Fun: How can you make the process fun? (Use this to persevere).
4. Autonomy: How can you stay in control?
5. Mastery: How can you quickly notice that you are getting better at it?
6. Purpose: What larger mission are you serving with this?

See the difference? "Motivation is not a cloud hanging over your head. It is a sum of these six factors. If you notice you're stagnant, check this list. Where is the energy leaking out? Do you lack autonomy? Is the goal not important enough? Or have you lost sight of fun?

Get Started!

Did you find this an interesting article? If so, please let me know! Give a thumbs up, a like, or leave a comment. I read them all personally, so your feedback is more than welcome.

Have a specific question about psychology, hypnosis or how to hack your brain for greater success? Ask it in the comments! Who knows, maybe I'll address your question in an upcoming article, video or podcast.

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Also pin this infographic as a handy reminder:

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