Asking Yourself: The Way to Feel Better
About the current situation, I sometimes think I am overly positive about it. By current situation, I mean the situation regarding corona. That is actually crazy, because you can think that the worst is yet to come, and I think so too, but still I am positive
I'd like to share that with you, how I do that?
I do this to be positive by asking myself questions that lead to good answers such as:
Now what if this is the best thing that could happen to you?
What if this is the opportunity of a lifetime?
If you're not feeling well and you're sick in bed and you can't leave your house, I understand that these aren't necessarily the questions you're asking yourself. But you can give it a shot.
Even if the water is up to your lips and you think you're going bankrupt you may think this is bullshit. I get that, but at some point that's over too.
After all, what if afterwards this is the best thing that could ever happen to you?
For example, I've never had a better time with my family. That may sound a little crazy, and like me, you may now be wondering what I did with my family for those 18 years before this.
During my son's birthday, no visitors came, but we had made a home theater. He had gotten a popcorn machine. We had little bags of M&Ms and it was just more fun than the birthday before, when there were visitors.
We were so connected that I absolutely loved it.
I understand that it’s different when you’re alone. For me, I feel more connected to the people I love. I found that a beautiful experience, and I wish that for everyone.
The quality of asking yourself is important
Perhaps you're not in a relationship or have children right now and you're thinking, "What's this about?" The bottom line is that the quality of the question determines the quality of the answer.
If you ask a better question, you'll get better answers.
If you ask a shit question, you'll get bad answers.
Logically, you probably know this, but are you doing it? Are you also asking yourself good questions?
Do you have a good way of asking questions? Because if you think about the right question, the answer is easy. The answer is often very easy, but the question is very difficult.
Anyone can ask bad questions. Many people do.
"Oh, why is this happening to me now?"
"Why am I such a jerk anyway?"
"Why am I not succeeding?"
Then you get all bad answers, which won't make you feel better. That's not much use to you.
A good question can lead to the right answer.
Ask yourself a how-to question
So what is a good question? A "How question" is often a good question.
So:
How to....?
During the master class on this, we had the setup of a question:
How can I...., while simultaneously...., so I can.....?
On those dots you fill in what you want to fill in. So that I ... is then a concrete goal.
For example:
How can I lose five pounds while at the same time eating whatever I want so I can be in my bikini this summer?
That’s how you make something concrete. You have a goal you want to achieve.
Then write down all the answers that lead to the goal. Maybe you'll find out for yourself that you don't need to lose five pounds at all, you can just buy a new bikini.
Then you too will be ready and happy with what you want.
Often we all have ideas in our heads about how to get somewhere. But, of course, there are 101 ideas for getting somewhere rather than one or two. What is also good to consider is whether you want to get to the place you think is better.
Asking yourself questions is a form of self-reflection, and this provides insight into yourself. It’s very helpful if you want to improve your life and your emotions. When you ask yourself these kinds of questions, you’ll also be able to identify yourself more accurately—or at the very least, you’ll recognize yourself as the people who know you see you.
In the process, it also influences the decisions you make[1].
You can also write down your reflections. Writing down your responses can help you be better at what you want. Research on students who kept a reflection journal shows that it had a small but positive effect on study results[2].
Students are even encouraged to come up with questions for self-reflection and to gain an even deeper understanding of their study materials[3]. Asking the right question is therefore incredibly important for your development.
Who will you become when you achieve that goal along the way?
For example, if you want to get the black belt in aikido, at least you won't become a karate man.
If you want 100,000 euros in your bank account. Who will you become? Maybe something comes into your head now that you will become a ..... That can be very interesting; many people think that would make them a miser.
You may not want to become one and then you will sabotage that goal .
So it’s a good idea to find out if you have any limiting rules or beliefs about this.
The same can be true with a new relationship. And you can explore that until you have a quality question, so you get a quality answer.
It’s much more helpful to ask yourself the right questions these days than to just wait and see. Waiting to see what Rutte will allow you to do again as an entrepreneur, for example. You just keep looking for another option.
It's easy for me to talk, of course, because I can do that. Anyway, you also want to ask yourself questions like the following.
So what if this is always the case anyway?
What if this is the new normal? Will you keep waiting for a new help system?
As a result, I have made some decisions for myself. Not everyone agrees with or likes that decision.
That's always the case when you say something that doesn't sit well with some people if they expected something different.
But this does come out of my head and it is what it is, then you have to deal with that decision. But then it is your decision.
That’s still better than having to deal with Rutte’s decision. That just made me feel completely depressed. I don’t feel like dealing with Rutte’s decision—I don’t know the man at all.
I prefer to deal with my own decisions. It's a lot more pleasant. You still have to deal with problems and find solutions for them, but at least then it comes from you, and that just makes me feel a lot more positive.
Also listen to this podcast:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/3824321-corona-positief-getest?play=true
Do these questions still make you feel completely depressed, and do you see only a few paths to a solution that you don’t want?
Then you can also get help from a hypnotherapist or learn how hypnotherapy works yourself.
With hypnotherapy, you receive help from someone who can view your issues from a distance and who, as a result, can more easily come up with the right questions to help you gain new insights. These insights then help you feel better and start doing things differently—something that works better for you.
Depending on the problems you are facing, there are several techniques that can be used.
Hypnosis often uses guided visualizations and linking emotions in order to have easier daily triggers to feel better.
The visualizations can also be used to change your beliefs about how the world works, allowing you to find new paths to your Rome in that way as well.
Generally, you then come to a memory that has had a lot of influence on your worldview. You can then look at that memory from a different angle or do something with it in your mind, changing its influence.
Would you like to learn more about hypnosis and what you can do with it? Then join the free online masterclass.
Do you want to learn the techniques to help yourself or others? Then sign up for one of our training programs. These are ideal if you work as a coach or help people with their personal development in other ways.
[1] https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/1993-21474-001
[2] https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007/s10459-011-9298-z.pdf
[3] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0092055×11418685