Dependent personality disorder: treating it with hypnotherapy
Someone with dependent personality disorder feels they cannot cope with life on their own. They then often look for a partner to take care of everything. Often people with this personality disorder are passive and want to be with their partner, or someone who cares for them.
In itself, this need not be a problem. After all, there are plenty of people who enjoy taking care of someone, but if you can't find that person or that person falls away, you do have a problem if you have this disorder. So reason enough to do something about it.
Dependent personality disorder symptoms
If you suffer from this symptom you can recognize it by:
- Low self-confidence
- Feeling like you can't do many things
- You call yourself stupid or dumb
- You hate being alone
- You doubt yourself a lot
- You seek a lot of validation from other people
- You find it very difficult to make daily decisions
- You want to make others responsible for decisions in your own life
- You say you agree with someone, when in fact you don't
- You find it difficult to start your own projects
- You do a lot to endure unpleasant circumstances
- When a relationship breaks down you quickly start a new one
- Do you suffer from separation anxiety[1]?
- Asking other people to do things for you
- If you have someone willing to take care of you you are very loyal
In mild cases, this isn’t too serious, but in severe cases, you may also experience depressive symptoms[2]. There is also often a link between this disorder and people who suffer from anxiety and panic attacks[3]. Additionally, people with this disorder are more likely to struggle with alcohol abuse (source 1).
The downside of this disorder is that people with bad intentions can take advantage of you faster, because you often trust other people too quickly (source 1).
Women are more likely than men to be diagnosed with dependency disorder, but this may also be because men do not readily admit during interviews or tests that they suffer from dependent feelings[4].
Cause of dependent personality disorder
One way to treat this disorder is to identify the cause and do something about it. For example, there is evidence that very protective parents can trigger this disorder in their children and if someone simply feels that someone else can see that they are not good at doing things (source 1, 2).
Another form of parenting, the authoritarian form, can also cause this dependency, as you have never been able to learn to take initiative and make mistakes on your own (source 1).
Dependent personality disorder treatment
Cognitive behavioral therapy is commonly used to treat self-esteem and self-confidence in people with dependency problems.
In addition, hypnosis can be used to become more active, deal with fears about whether or not you could do something and have more confidence in what you can do.
A case study of a woman who suffered from dependent personality disorder and depression found that she gained more skills, needed less from other people and her relationships improved. In doing so, she was able to enjoy time with her family more and her family was able to enjoy time with her more (source 2).
As a therapist, it’s important to be mindful that the person with this problem doesn’t start to see you as someone they can rely on. Ultimately, most therapies are temporary, and your goal is to teach someone to take care of themselves and believe that they can do so. In the beginning, the needs of someone with this disorder can be helpful for establishing rapport, but afterward, independence must be encouraged.
You encourage:
- Being able to build on yourself
- Being able to express yourself
- Autonomy (source 1)
Setting boundaries as a therapist is important because people with this disorder fall in love with their therapist faster than people with other problems.
Using hypnosis to treat dependent personality disorder
What is helpful is that people with personality disorders are often good to hypnotize[5].
Hypnosis is particularly useful for identifying and treating awkward unconscious beliefs that have a lot of influence on your emotions and behavior.
If you're convinced you're not smart, it's time to do something about that belief. After all, anyone with a growth mindset knows that it's not about your IQ, but about your willingness to put energy into learning something new. This can be something big and something small.
With hypnosis, you can find out where these types of unhelpful beliefs come from. The fact that the way you were raised can be a cause of this personality disorder also gives the idea that regression is a good way to find out the origins of unhealthy beliefs.
With regression, a therapist helps someone go back in their mind to the moment when you first thought you weren't smart enough to take care of yourself and needed someone to do it for you. This is probably a moment in your childhood, because that is the moment when you determine how the world works and how best to function in it.
Only you have more knowledge about how the world works now than you did then. With regression, a therapist helps give that memory an update of sorts. For example, as a client, you revisit the memory, but now empathize with other people who were there at the time. This can give you new insights, causing you to no longer believe what you believed at the time. This can already weaken the belief that you are not good enough to take care of yourself.
Become more active with hypnosis
That small change in an unconscious belief can make it already easier for you to become more active; to make your own decisions with more confidence.
For example, you can visualize what it's like when you come up with an idea about what you want to do on the weekend or what you want to eat that night. You can visualize what it's like to come up with an idea. For example, how you research fun outings with Google and then suggest this fun outing to your partner or family.
A hypnotherapist not only helps you visualize, but also the confidence to do so in a way that feels right.
These types of visualizations give you more confidence in making decisions and this helps you become more active and show more initiative as well. In addition, you can also use these types of visualizations to share your own opinions more often. This helps you to express yourself better.
Hypnosis to improve self-confidence
Improving your self-confidence or self-esteem can also go a long way toward reducing the negative effects of dependent personality disorder and helping you set better boundaries.
This is often done by repeating hypnotic suggestions such as:
"I am good enough the way I am."
"I am my own person with my own life."
"I get to say "no" when something doesn't feel right."
"I listen to my own feelings and heart."
"I get to do something myself without involving other people."
These are just examples. Depending on your self-esteem issues, you may receive other suggestions from a hypnotherapist.
If you suffer from dependent personality disorder, you feel like you can't take good care of yourself. If you have a fine relationship with someone who does not mind making decisions for you, there is not much to worry about, but even then it may be helpful to do something about this, in case at some point you do need to take care of yourself.
In addition, it can be helpful to do something about this so that you don't do things you don't actually like and people can't take advantage of you.
Hypnotherapy is a very good way to address this, as people with personality disorders are often good at being hypnotized. A hypnotherapist can help identify the cause and do something about it, so that you are less bothered by negative beliefs. In addition, a hypnotherapist can help improve your self-confidence.
Would you like to learn more about how hypnosis works? Then join us for the free online masterclass.
Or sign up for a seminar or one of our training courses. These are enjoyable to participate in for your own benefit, and also if you want to help others get the most out of their lives.
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