There you are. Half past four in the morning and your brain is running overtime like it's on full blast. You probably know it, that endless stream of thoughts that just won't stop. Or you're in a meeting and while your colleague is talking about budgets, your head is racing in all directions. Worries about the kids, that bill that still has to be paid, that conversation yesterday that didn't feel good.
Stopping thoughts sometimes seems as impossible as taming a wild horse. You try, but those thoughts seem to have a mind of their own. And the harder you try to quiet them, the noisier it gets in your head.
Many people ask me, "Edwin, how do I get these thoughts to stop? They go on and on and on." I get that. Those raging thoughts can pretty much disrupt your life, especially when you want to sleep. Then you get even more frustrated, because you know you need rest, but your brain apparently has other plans.
Now you can swallow all sorts of things with that, or you can try calling yourself to order, but there is a much more elegant way. Hypnosis works differently than you might think. It's not about gaining control over your thoughts - that won't work anyway - but about allowing them to settle down naturally.
You will discover where that incessant stream of thought really comes from. Not the superficial answer you usually get, but what is really happening in your brain. And above all: how you can do something about it. Because it can be done, even if you now think it's hopeless.
Where do those raging thoughts actually come from?
These thoughts don't come out of thin air. There's a system behind them, only that system doesn't always work in your favor. When you understand why your brain does this, it becomes much easier to do something about it.
Spontaneous thoughts: your brain on exploration
Spontaneous thoughts are conscious visitors who walk in without knocking. Actually, your brain is doing exactly what it is supposed to do: it is constantly exploring new possibilities and making connections. Like a child in a toy store who wants to touch everything for a moment.
This exploration behavior is normal and even helpful. It helps with creativity and problem solving. Only with some people, that exploration goes a little too enthusiastically. Then you don't have one thought coming along, but a whole procession marching through your head.
You probably know someone who moves quietly from thought to thought, as if reading a newspaper. And maybe you also know someone (maybe it's you yourself) where thoughts shoot through the mind like ping-pong balls.
Why certain thoughts stick
Some thoughts are like that one hit that just won't get out of your head. They keep coming back because your brain considers them important. Perhaps they indicate something that needs to be resolved, or feelings that require attention.
Your attention profile plays a big role here. People who are easily distracted, think ADHD, often experience their thoughts jumping in all directions. But this is actually in everyone, like a continuum. Some people have it a little more than others.
Do you regularly ask yourself, "How do I get these thoughts to quiet down?" If so, you probably have an active, exploratory brain. That's not a bad thing, just sometimes exhausting.
Stress throws oil on the fire
Stress makes everything worse. Your brain then switches to survival mode and that means: being extra vigilant for everything that could go wrong. It's logical that your thoughts then go even faster.
All those constant stimuli from phones, television and social media don't help either. Your brain doesn't get a moment's rest to recover. It's like keeping an engine revved up without ever slowing down.
Negative thoughts feed themselves
Here's where it gets interesting. Negative thoughts have a common trick: The more attention you give them, the stronger they become. Just try not thinking about a pink elephant for five minutes. Can't do it, right?
This explains why stopping thoughts at night is so difficult. That's when all distractions fall away and your brain has all the time it needs to focus on that one annoying thought. And the more you resist it, the more prominent it becomes.
It's like wrestling with a Chinese finger trap: the harder you pull, the more stuck you get.
What is actually happening in your brain?
Your brain is not a computer that you can turn off and on for a moment. Rather, it is like a busy marketplace where everything is constantly happening, even when you don't want it to. Those thoughts that keep going on and on? Those have a reason.
See, your attention works like a flashlight in the dark. When that flashlight weakens, due to fatigue or stress, all those other thoughts suddenly get free rein. They jump in all directions, without you being able to do anything about it. That is why you notice it especially at night or when you are tired. Your concentration is gone and your brain goes its own way.
Why your brain can't be still
Here's where it gets interesting. Your brain is an explorer by nature. It constantly wants to find new things, make connections, recognize patterns. That's fine during the day, but at night it gets tedious. Then your body lies still, but your brain thinks, "Great, now I have time to go through all the open ends."
A friend of mine said the other day, "It's like my head is a browser with 47 tabs open." Exactly that. And the more stressed you are, the more tabs open. Your brain goes into survival mode and becomes hyperalert. Anything can be important then, so everything gets attention.
Different types of busy heads
Not everyone has the same type of busy thoughts:
- Some have a kind of mental ping pong ball that bounces in all directions
- Others are stuck in a thought circle and keep circling the same problem
- Still others get a kind of mind acceleration where everything becomes important at once
These differences just happen. Just as some have a fast heartbeat and others a slow one, so do brains differ. No big deal, but it helps to know which type you have.
Why it gets worse at night
At night, all external distractions fall away. During the day you have all sorts of things to keep your attention occupied, conversations, work, traffic, music. But once you are in bed, there is only you and your thoughts. Then your brain gets all the space it needs to finish those internal processes it didn't have time for during the day.
The problem is that this is exactly the time you want rest. Your body is ready to sleep, but your brain is thinking, "Perfect, now we can finally think about that e-mail from last week."
Do you see why willpower doesn't work here? You are then trying to stop something that is natural. That's why hypnosis does work; it works with your brain instead of against it.
How hypnosis helps you finally quiet those thoughts
Hypnosis works very differently than most people think. It's not that someone else takes control, I wouldn't want that either, but rather you learn to deal with those thought patterns differently yourself.
What hypnosis really is
Hypnosis is actually quite common. You use it daily without realizing it. When you are completely absorbed in a movie and forget the time, you are in a kind of hypnotic state. Or when you are so concentrated while driving that you suddenly reach your destination without being aware of the route.
During hypnosis, you are not unconscious or "gone." You hear everything, you can talk, you can even say no. Only your brain is a little more open to new ideas. That critical voice in your head that is always commenting, it softens up a bit.
The difference with mindfulness and meditation
People often ask me, "Edwin, isn't hypnosis the same as mindfulness?" No, it's not. In mindfulness, you learn to look at your thoughts as if you were looking at clouds drifting by. Observing without judgment, as they call it.
Hypnosis goes one step further. You don't just start looking at those thoughts, you learn to change them. Your subconscious becomes more accessible, allowing you to learn new patterns that do work.
This is how it works in your subconscious mind
The interesting thing is that that endless stream of thoughts doesn't originate in your conscious mind. It comes from deeper layers. That's why it doesn't help to talk to yourself or try to push your thoughts away. You are not addressing the root of the problem then.
Three main things happen during hypnosis:
- Your critical mind gets a little less active
- You get access to those deeper layers where the patterns sit
- You can learn new, calm associations
Think of it like blazing a new trail in a forest. At first you still have to walk through the bushes, but the more you walk on it, the easier it becomes.
Techniques that really work
A good hypnotherapist has several ways to help you. Sometimes you visualize a quiet place where you can completely unwind. Or you learn to create anchors, little cues that remind your brain to be calm.
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The beauty is that these techniques don't just work during the session. You teach them to your subconscious, so they remain active afterwards.
Who does hypnosis work well for?
Hypnosis is safe when done by someone who knows what they are doing. I see especially good results with people who lie awake at night with a head full of thoughts. Breaking that cycle of brooding is what hypnosis is great for.
Even top athletes use it to clear their heads before a competition. If it's good enough for an Olympic athlete, it can work for you, too.
You don't have thoughts, you think them. And if you think them, you can also learn to think some other way. Hypnosis helps you do that in a way that works from the inside out, not just the outside in.
So what can you do for yourself?
Good, you now know what's going on in your head. But knowledge alone doesn't solve it, right? You have to start doing something with it. And that actually makes sense; you don't have thoughts, you do them. So you can also start doing something else.
Breathing that really works
Deep breathing is perhaps the easiest way to calm your brain. I myself often use a simple exercise that I also describe in my book. You perform four steps:
- You breathe in four counts
- You hold your breath for four counts
- You breathe out four counts
- You hold four counts
Then you start back at step 1. Very simple and very effective. I love that. Your brain immediately gets something else to focus on other than that endless stream of thoughts.
An evening ritual that calms your mind
What I often see is people cramming their brains with information until bedtime. Phone, television, just a quick check of email. And then they expect their heads to settle down. That doesn't work.
Therefore, start turning off all screens half an hour before you go to bed. Grab a notebook and write down what is running through your mind. Literally out of your head on paper. You don't have to do anything with it, but by writing it down you release it.
Self-hypnosis: easier than you think
Self-hypnosis doesn't have to be complicated at all. Start with ten minutes in which you repeat to yourself positive phrases. "I am calm," "My thoughts are coming to rest," or whatever feels right to you. Want to learn how to do this better? Register immediately for one of our trainings and events. You can take the training live and online.
By doing this regularly, you train your brain to enter a calmer state. It's like exercising muscles, but for your mind.
Less stimuli, more peace of mind
Your brain receives an incredible amount of information these days. Constantly. And then we wonder why our minds are so busy. Limit your screen time, especially in the evening. Create moments of silence where you consciously take in less information.
When you need help
Sometimes you can't do it alone. And that's fine. If after weeks of practice you're still struggling with thoughts that keep grinding, or if it's disrupting your daily life, seek help. You don't have to do it alone, and there's no shame in asking for support.
What will you take away from this?
Those thoughts in your head? You do those. Might sound strange, but it's true. You don't have thoughts racing, you do races with your thoughts. And that's actually good news, because what you do, you can do differently.
Hypnosis doesn't work because it's magical or because someone else takes control. It works because you access that place where all those patterns are. That place where your brain has learned to replay all day at night. Where it has learned to immediately kick into high gear at the slightest stress.
You can also do a lot yourself. That breathing thingy really does work, even though you may feel a little floaty when you do it. Turning off those screens before you go to sleep also helps, even if you find it boring at first. And that writing down your thoughts? Just try it once.
But let's face it. Sometimes you can't figure it out and then it's good to seek help.
Because stopping thoughts is not a matter of forcing yourself or trying harder. It's about understanding how your brain works and then smartly using what works.
That peace of mind? You deserve it. You, too, will soon be able to lay your head on that pillow and just doze off, without feeling like there's a whole soccer game going on between your ears.
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Sources:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34555554/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19515428/
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1053810024001028?dgcid=api_sd_search-api-endpoint
https://www.semanticscholar.org/reader/6d69efdcc627b6aec687df85466c773d7abb80fa
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00029157.2017.1419458
