The Meta Model
The meta-model is quite often taught in a way that doesn't work. It is often taught as a way to gather information. It is partly that, but mostly it is a way to influence. In the theme day pre-conversation, you're going to learn the meta-model as an influence tool and not just as an information gatherer
What is the meta-model
The meta-model is a model that examines the language we speak. What do people really say and what exactly do they mean. As human beings, we speak about our experience. That experience we speak about we do so through language. Language is the tip of the iceberg.
If you look at the model shown here, you’ll see that the experience is filtered. Information is omitted, generalized, and distorted.
It also passes through all the things we believe and remember. Only then does it sink in. So the experience is filtered right from the start.
Then all sorts of internal processes happen and we feel emotions with them. From there, we then act.
When we start talking about that experience we reflect what's going on internally. In that language you can hear what is being left out, generalized and distorted. With the meta-model you get insight into what that is then.
The surface and depth structure
The experience being talked about is called the surface structure. In fact, language is the tip of the iceberg. Underneath it, all sorts of processes and decisions happen that are made before anything is said.
By asking questions, we gain insight into the depth structure. The structure of the process underneath. What are the presuppositions mentioned. What do you have to assume to make sense of it.
For example, this sentence...
The cat sits on the table
What should you hire?
There is a cat, a table and the relationship between the two. You take those presuppositions to make sense.
This is a simple statement, but when the sentences become more complex there are all sorts of presuppositions hidden in there. So these come in just like that when you are not aware of them.
What is the best question to ask then
The best question to ask in the meta-model is
How do you know.
This challenges the greatest generalization and provides more information. You are also directly influencing others with this. How? Because you are now forcing the person to start telling more about what is really going on. Often what lies underneath is not what is said first.
Get started with this and listen to people. Challenge them to tell more by asking "how do you know?" and you will find that you start to have much more impact in your communication with people.
Want to learn all about this?
Then come to the theme day "the preliminary conversation" and get a deep insight into people's communicative processes.
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