The smartphone combined with social media has long been a topic of discussion. How safe is a smartphone really? Don't children with smartphones become unhappy because of the continuous connection to social media? Recent research among students in the U.S. shows that students now suffer more from anxiety than depression. This has always been the other way around in the past.
Why it is that more and more young people are suffering from anxiety disorders and what you can do about it can be read in this blog.
Another sign that something is going on in society is the popularity of the fidget spinner. Created for children with ADHD, autism or anxiety, this little propeller is now being bought en masse by "healthy" people.
Of course, it's a funny little thing when you have nothing to do and are totally bored. For people before the smartphone era, boredom was something that came with life and then you would often just go around throwing pebbles, counting marbles or doing other things that didn't really serve any good purpose.
Meanwhile, the smartphone ensures that we hardly need to be bored. If we are bored, we have a handy mini-computer in our pocket where we can easily entertain ourselves with games or watching videos.
Yet that smartphone also creates feelings of anxiety, frustration and depression. This is often related to the social opportunities it provides. For example, you're messaging with someone, or through another chat program, and you can see by the dots on the screen that that person is typing. As much as 15 minutes. You wait the whole time for the message, because how long can it take? But nothing happens for minutes. This can be incredibly frustrating, and this can even lead to anxiety or anger.
Research also shows that the more you use your smartphone, the more agitated you become when you don't have access to your smartphone (1). In this study, students were kept away from the smartphone for one hour. The people who used the smartphone the least did not experience any restlessness or anxious feelings during this hour, while those who used the smartphone the most experienced more feelings of anxiety after only 10 minutes.
That anxiety can be partly explained by fear of missing important phone calls or messages. In fact, research also shows that missing a phone call, and being aware of this, can cause your anxiety levels to spike tremendously. In the process, that anxiety also reduces your ability to concentrate and perform tasks less well than normal.
Fear of missing something
The smartphone can fuel the fear of missing something. It used to be normal not to catch up on everything, but the smartphone allows you to always keep up with the latest news and updates from your friends.
The fear of missing something is a fear that has been around for a long time, even before the smartphone existed, but this fear does predict whether people use the smartphone more and whether they also suffer more from insomnia, possibly by checking the smartphone for the latest news.
The fear of missing out on something refers to the fear that other people will have fun experiences, such as a barbecue on a hot day and then you won't have it. You have with this fear the need to always be in connection with other people and to "get involved" in what other people are doing.
This anxiety can even predict students' study results. Students who suffer from the fear of missing something are more likely to have lower grades than students who do not have this fear(2).
Another characteristic of this anxiety is that you think your phone is going to ring or vibrate. Then you grab it and nothing is wrong.
Your smartphone can fuel the fear of missing something, and with that, your smartphone can indeed create more anxiety.
Be sure to listen to this podcast about the fear of missing out:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/1684435-fomo-of-juist-lomo?play=true
There are several ways to reduce this anxiety, which I will go into next.
Check your smartphone usage
One app you can use to monitor your smartphone usage is the Instant Quantified Self. This app allows you to monitor how much time you spend on your smartphone. This confrontation can cause you to try harder to entertain yourself without your smartphone and then you can also become less anxious.
By becoming more accustomed to the feeling of boredom, you come to realize that there is more to life than your smartphone, and therefore you become less anxious about missing out on something from someone else's life.
Put into perspective what people put on social media
People often post only the most beautiful things on social media. You can now even edit selfies even before you put them on Facebook. So one can also make the situation more beautiful than it actually is.
By acknowledging to yourself that a photograph is a snapshot, you also acknowledge to yourself that you are not missing anything in and of itself.
Accept that life isn't always fun
The fear of missing out on something often causes you to think that your life should always be fun. However, life is not always fun. In general, many people are mostly concerned with solving problems and whether it is a real first-world problem or a more serious one. Solving a problem can always cause frustration.
By consciously enjoying what you do, rather than thinking about all the things you can't do right now, you will suffer less from this anxiety.
Mindfulness is a great way to live in the here and now and not think about other cooler things you could be doing with your life all the time.
Turn off your smartphone
Turning off your smartphone allows you to focus more on what you are doing. This also allows friendships and other relationships to deepen better than with the smartphone.
On the contrary, being busy with your smartphone all the time makes you miss the moment you're in and can even alienate people. That's a bigger problem than that party you're not at.
What also helps well is setting your smartphone to do not disturb. Then you won't get any bleeps or vibrations when an app has a new feature. You don't even notice when someone calls you, but when you need your smartphone it's just on and you can decide whether to call someone back or check out an app.
Why are you afraid of missing something?
Beliefs are often the basis for developing anxiety. Therefore, go over for yourself why you are actually afraid of missing out on something? Where do you think it will lead if for once you are not somewhere or do not have a certain experience?
By figuring out your beliefs, for example by continuing to ask why 5 times, you can often realize that your beliefs are not based on anything. This realization can already reduce the fear of missing out on something.
Use self-hypnosis for new beliefs
Does just figuring out your beliefs not help you suffer less from the fear of missing something? Then you can use hypnosis or self-hypnosis to make other beliefs more powerful. For example, repeating hypnotic suggestions is a technique you can use for this purpose.
Generally, a hypnotherapist gives you hypnotic suggestions that fit your beliefs and specific fears of missing something.
You can also try this exercise first.
Sit or lie down in a comfortable place and breathe through your abdomen. Make sure the inhale and exhale take the same amount of time. Close your eyes and relax your muscles. Then repeat these sentences:
I have my own life of which I don't have to miss anything.
People only show the perfect picture.
Everyone gets sick sometimes and has to work overtime.
I can always return a missed call.
In case of emergencies, the government sends a text message.
Are these hypnotic suggestions not working for you? Then see a hypnotherapist to get personalized suggestions that apply to your beliefs.
Try something new
With the fear of missing out on something, it also seems that you make your happiness depend on participating in other people's happy moments. This is a very dependent attitude. Instead, try to think of activities you can do yourself. For example, try something new every day, such as making a new recipe, joining a new class at the gym, learning a new language or visiting a museum you've never been to before.
Invite a friend to try something together instead of satisfying the need to be invited.
Want to learn more about mental techniques against anxiety? Then come to a free online master class and check out Hypnosis Institute Netherlands' training courses.
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