Taking space for yourself must sometimes happen literally, but very often figuratively. Being able to be yourself, express yourself and have time for yourself is very difficult in this society. Appointments have to be kept on time and most people live on a schedule. To then take time for yourself and also space for yourself is sometimes easier said than done.
Therefore, in this blog, I offer tips for taking space for yourself, having time for yourself and being yourself.
Initially, it can be very important to create space for yourself and your own thoughts. How often does it happen that you live on someone else's schedule, such as your work schedule or that you have to fit within the schedule of family and friends? As a result, there is really no time for you and your self-discovery?
Me-time
In order to let go of the schedule, it is important to put yourself in the schedule in the first place. Through me-time. Even if it's only an hour a week. In that hour, it is time for yourself to do something or just to do nothing at all.
No matter, it's time you can use for yourself in the way you want to use time. It's fine if you want to exercise, read a book or just stare ahead for an hour.
During me-time, thoughts about work or other things you still have to do can bother you. This actually disrupts your me-time and limits your ability to recharge yourself.
Therefore, you can use mindfulness meditation during me-time. This means that whatever you do during your me-time you do it with your full attention.
When you read a book you fully experience the story or absorb the knowledge from the book. You feel yourself turning the pages and are in the here and now.
If you do get distracted by thoughts about work or what you are going to do later that day, focus first on your breathing and then back to what you were doing.
Me-time also has health benefits. For example, me-time helps reduce stress. This in turn helps lower the risk of high blood pressure, even the risk of premature death decreases, and as a result, you sleep better as well(1).
Taking time to do other things
Do you feel like you have to do everything fast, faster, fastest because you think other people will think you're lazy otherwise? In the end, this is not a good starting point at all. Hurry and haste is rarely good.
For example, you can draft a text quickly and send it off, but giving yourself time to let it rest for a while and read through it quietly will make it better. This also applies to other tasks.
The quality of what you do ultimately improves when you take the time to do it. Colleagues at work are going to recognize this too.
Research on taking the time for certain actions also shows that organizations get more results from doing so(2). This study examined an ivf clinic. If employees and clients had to perform all kinds of actions faster, the result was a lower birth rate. If one did take time for everything, the number of successful pregnancies increased.
Setting boundaries
To take the time to do what you need to do, though, it's important to set boundaries. Otherwise, a workday will just take much longer than 8 hours. It is especially important to refuse tasks that are not in your job description. You can indicate that you were not hired for that task or suggest someone who is suitable for that task.
It is also important to set boundaries in your personal life. For example, if you have every weekend packed, when you actually want to do something with your partner, it is important to say no to the next invitation or even cancel an invitation.
If you find it difficult to set your boundaries at work or in personal life, hypnotherapy can help you discover why that is. What beliefs do you have that make it difficult for you to state your boundaries.
This can also be a helpful tool if you only experience this block with some people or in certain situations.
Discovering the cause with hypnosis is usually done with regression therapy, but asking through can also provide the answer.
An entire weekend of me-time can also be incredibly nice to recharge yourself and do something that energizes you for a change.
Research among people working in health care also shows that setting boundaries and setting limits for yourself helps to prevent burnout and to have greater job satisfaction(3). This study indicated that setting boundaries is about indicating to patients what you can and cannot do and also that you choose who you can and cannot interact with. So in this last case, it was about colleagues.
Finding your own passion
Taking space for yourself also means doing what you love. If you do not currently know what you enjoy, it is important to find your own passion.
A passion is something you enjoy doing so much that it actually energizes you. When you are engaged in your passion, time flies by and you may even forget to eat (at least I have a little).
You can use me-time first to recharge yourself, but also to find a passion you enjoy. For example, you can try a new sport or find a new hobby with creativity, such as photography, painting, writing or cooking.
Through that passion, you also get to know yourself better, and in the case of art, it can also be a step forward with expressing feelings or who you are. In addition, it can overlap with things you have to do at work, for example, which in turn increases motivation(4).
Showing who you are
Sometimes taking up space can also mean getting more involved in conversations. Perhaps you feel you are often not heard, such as in meetings, when you really do have something to say.
Taking space for yourself can also be about boosting self-confidence and increasing the feeling that you can do something.
Showing who you are can be blocked for some by low self-confidence. Increasing your self-confidence can then be achieved with mindfulness and also with self-hypnosis.
Self-hypnosis allows you to increase self-confidence. This can be done through visualizations and suggestions. Initially, it is important to relax and focus on your breathing. Then you can start with a visualization or repeating suggestions, such as:
People welcome the input I provide.
What I have to say takes the company/my relationship further.
I have a voice that may be heard.
Showing who you are can also be blocked by thinking you don't have the skill to say something or dress yourself the way you want without appearing strange.
In that case, visualization during self-hypnosis can help reinforce the belief that you can do something.
You will first relax and focus on your breathing. You can do this lying on your bed, or you can do it in your favorite chair or in the corner of the couch. When you are completely relaxed and focused on your breathing you can begin your visualization.
In visualization, you consider that if you want to express yourself, for example, by dressing the way you want. How that looks, how it makes you feel and how the environment reacts to you. For example, you can visualize how you put on your beautiful dress/shirt that you bought but haven't worn yet. How the fabric feels on your skin and what feeling it gives you then.
Then visualize how you walk down the street with your own look. How comfortable it is in your own clothes that show who you are.
It also allows you to visualize sharing your vision in a conversation, such as at a birthday or in a meeting.
For example, you visualize how you start the meeting at work. How you greet everyone present. How you listen to their input and how you give your own. You can visualize the possible reactions, such as silence if there is no response or nods of approval or compliments. You visualize how you feel when you have shared your vision and how nice it is to have had your say anyway.
After the visualization, focus back on your breathing and then you can continue with suggestions or stop the self-hypnosis exercise.
Want to learn more about hypnosis and self-hypnosis? Then check out the training offerings or come to a seminar.
Sources:
http://discovery.ucl.ac.uk/1451536/
http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/cap/53/1/42/
