Taking charge of your own life: how do you do it?

As a hypnotist, it is important to take charge. So you take charge, but how do you make sure people follow you when you take charge? If no one follows you, what do you take charge of?

How can you take charge so that people follow you

This is one of the most important things I pay attention to during the hypnosis seminar. Because when people at some point do what you say, when they follow you, they also go into hypnosis very easily.

Don't people follow you? Then they go into hypnosis much harder.

Of course, this also applies to your own life. So how do you make sure that what you're thinking is what you're going to follow through on?

You've taken charge of something. You've made a plan. You have a goal. You want to go there, you want to execute that I think is important and cool. And now?

Are you following yourself then?

Are you a leader for yourself, too?

Do you have a part in you that can?

Can you motivate yourself internally, or do you need someone else to motivate you?

For example, I love deadlines and committing to things in groups. "This is what I'm going to do," that then helps guide myself to where I want to go.

Instead of suffering in where I am now.

Not that I suffer, but if I want something and it's not there, I enjoy working toward it.

So how do you ensure you gain that sense of control? Because people who lack a sense of control suffer.

Research also shows that people who feel they lack control or direction may become depressed, panic, or develop anxiety as a result[1]. This can lead to all kinds of mental health issues, causing them to engage in behaviors that are not at all good for them.

Of course, life also happens to you. Relationships can end, you can lose people, and the most terrible things can happen. You have absolutely no control over that. But what you do have control over is how you deal with it.

Of course, that’s tough—because what if everything falls apart? Your job, your relationships, your kids—who knows—what then? That’s incredibly intense.

So what will you be doing?

So what's left for you to influence?

Start your circle of influence

That last piece, from your circle of influence, you can start with. Because then you continue to feel in control, in charge.

Because that will prevent you from going under completely.

In this regard, you must take charge of your own life. You do this from within your circle of influence. Many things are outside of this. You cannot change other people, you cannot change the weather, you cannot change the economy, you cannot change who is on the throne. So you have very little to no influence on that. So it makes little sense to worry about that.

So what can you be in charge of?

About yourself, your personal leadership. Who do you want to be? How do you want to be? What do you want to do? Where are you headed? You have control over all of these things.

If you take the time to figure that out for yourself—who you want to be and who you are. If who you are works for you, that’s fine, but if you’re someone who wants to grow (like me), then you might want to ask yourself this question.

I want to grow into the person I want to be in my life, not the person I have become through life. Things naturally happen in your life. You deal with that in a certain way and then you become a certain person. And you look in the mirror and realize that you don't really want to be that person at all.

Then start changing that and it starts with your circle of influence. Small steps give big results.

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Embrace your power

Many people tend to focus on what’s wrong with them, but that’s a very unhelpful way to look at yourself, because every improvement is a kind of struggle. Like the struggle against the pounds for many people who are overweight.

Instead, start from what you are good at[2]. Improving that is often easier because you've often become good at something you've put a lot of effort into, and it's usually something you enjoy anyway.

Take a risk

When you know who you want to be and what you want to become, that clarity creates more focus. It also allows you to see opportunities faster and seize them.

For example, do you want to be more active? Then you’ll quickly realize that you can go for a short walk or run right in your neighborhood.

Do you want to earn more money? Then you’ll quickly see that books can help you gain the knowledge you need to achieve that.

Want to be more stylish? Then see examples of style that inspire you faster.

Next, you can seize those opportunities. You talk to someone who has the style you want and ask how and what. You talk to that one hiker or runner for tips. You start that Etsy store for extra side income.

This can also help you gain even more self-confidence.

The time is yours

You’re living your life, and this movie only plays once, so the time you have is your time. By taking control of how you manage your time, you may already be well on your way to taking charge of your schedule and developing your goals.

To manage your time well, it is important to prioritize and be realistic. If you overdo it, it will only be frustrating and possibly exhausting, as you will not be able to sleep as much.

For example, start with things that allow you to develop yourself and then move on to the rest. Also, keep in mind that other people are not taking up your time without your permission[3].

Dealing with people who do what you want

Another way to change your circle of influence is to hang out with people who inspire you to do what you actually want to do. For example, if you want to exercise more, hang out with people who are already doing it.

Want to eat healthier? Spend time with people who already do. Then, when you go out for lunch, you’ll be much more likely to choose that salad over the hamburger.

At the beginning of this century, social media was not even a thing, but people had realized that you can use the Internet to connect with other people. Especially older people who wanted more control over their lives then bought computers to be part of online communities, to learn new things and thus empower themselves[4].

Now that social media exists, this has become even easier, and the range of online training and workshops has never been greater.

Be happy with what you achieve

Then, when you're working on your personal goals, it's easy to focus on what you haven't yet accomplished rather than what you've already accomplished.

Research on athletes shows that they become happier when they focus on what they’ve accomplished that day rather than on what they haven’t done.

For example, when they want to perform better than the day before and fail to do so, it brings unhappiness. But when they are engaged in that they are at least working out and making their body stronger, whether or not better than yesterday, it actually does bring more happy feelings[5].

To help you be happy with what you do and accomplish, you can end each day by writing down what you were grateful for that day. This will help you shift your focus to the positives.

Use hypnosis

If you feel like you want to be someone else but feel it’s simply not possible, a hypnotherapist can help you remove that mental block. Because if you can imagine something, it’s often something your subconscious mind tells you is possible.

A hypnotherapist can help you figure out how to achieve your goal or bring about change. Various techniques can be used for this. For example, a limiting belief can be removed or made to seem ridiculous, causing it to lose its power.

Or you can use hypnosis to figure out how your subconscious thinks you can achieve a particular goal.

You can also learn hypnosis on your own to further your personal development. For example, why not attend a free online hypnosis masterclass?

Or sign up for one of our training programs.

Sources:

[1] https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F1076-8998.7.4.302

[2] http://www.archaeologists.net/sites/default/files/Expanding%20your%20career%20horizons.pdf

[3] https://search.proquest.com/openview/57c3d71eb369136fbf49fbd3263135dc/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=4849

[4] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/07364802021002002

[5] https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/1612197X.2019.1570534