Standing in your power: How to do it
How should you be in your power now? That question presupposes that you are not in your power right now. You are in something else, I don't know in what. Maybe you are standing in the blubber and from that blubber you have to stand in something else
So how do you do it? Literally you can't, because it's not a thing you can hold. For example, you can stand in a box, but not in your power. Where do you find that power, too? In a room or something like that? Where you haven't been yet? Or on the couch, you lie down in your strength.
It's quite distinct, of course. After all, power is not a thing you can grasp, which also makes that whole statement tricky.
In fact, it can't be done, so the idea is wrong. The question is wrong.
It's a super statement to sell something: "I teach you to stand in your power." That sounds great, of course. But what really happens?
You will teach people to feel their power.
You do something and then you start to feel powerful.
But so how can you feel powerful? That's a little different than "being in your power." "Feeling your power."
Then you better ask yourself what will make you feel powerful.
For example, you can think of certain goals you very much want to achieve. Then when you think about that, you feel a certain energy. You get the idea that you then become very powerful when you achieve that, or maybe even while you are achieving it.
Or through pain. You feel the pain of something. That can be emotional pain. It involves something unpleasant or whatever it may be, and it also gives you a powerful urge to move away from it.
That's usually not what people mean by it.
Pain to be in your power
Being in your power makes people feel more positive. It's not people saying, "I'm going to make you feel all K, so you feel powerful afterwards." It's not a backlash.
That in itself is quite a natural principle. For example, if I give you a push, you will automatically push back. Or you are so paralyzed by circumstances that you think, "Yes push, push me into that abyss."
But often this stops when you are right in front of that figurative precipice. That's when a survival mechanism kicks in. Perhaps you allow yourself to be thrown around for a while at first, until it becomes a matter of survival.
Then all at once comes a powerful feeling. Then you feel energized and alive again and then a kind of survival instinct comes, because you just don't want to die or anything like that.
It’s also possible that you’re in a relationship that isn’t working. That you haven’t been happy in it for a long time. At some point, you’ve had enough. You suddenly feel very empowered, and then you simply say, “I’m done with this.” Then you’ll start avoiding the pain caused by that bad relationship.
A lot of people have that strategy.
So it's very likely to help you be uncomfortable. So how do you do this in a helpful way?
Because often when something feels uncomfortable we go and numb it. For example, we start drinking and then the next day you feel even worse and you say to yourself, "I'm never going to do this again." You really mean it then.
The day goes on and a few days later you still feel like another drink.
So what happens then? You’d forgotten about the pain, so you’re no longer motivated.
If you repeat that feeling of being broke every day, you're not going to drink again. Then something inside you claps that you absolutely don't want it.
We also call this a compulsion blowout. Pain is then the catalyst for that powerful feeling.
This is what happened to me with alcohol and drugs. I suddenly had this powerful, intensely painful feeling that I had to stop using them. That’s what enabled me to decide to quit.
When you are searching for your power, it is very likely that there is something painful going on, something you don't want to do or sit with anymore. This could be work, relationship or family related or whatever.
Good feelings for standing in your power
Other people just need good feelings to feel powerful, to stand in their power.
These benefit more from a catalyst of good feelings. At the idea of what they want to achieve, they get such good feelings that they are energized to work toward it.
It must be some kind of magnet of where to go.
This strategy works best.
For example, pain is a good catalyst to get started, but to keep feeling powerful you often need to do something permanent and then it helps more to strive for something.
For example, I really enjoy doing CrossFit three to four times a week—it draws me in like a magnet. A nice side effect is how I look in the mirror (yes, I’m a bit vain), but I do it for the energy. It calms me down, and that helps me.
This also keeps me from "not doing it" unless I need to take my rest to recover.
These are all decisions I make based on what drives me, rather than what I want to avoid.
So I want to avoid that stress.
Feeling your power or not is something you do
So there are ways to be in your power, but it is very important to realize that you are doing it.
So ask yourself what drives you. Or what can I do if I want to avoid something.
Those two principles can make you feel powerful and empowered.
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So the second principle is about doing something long-term to make your life better from a positive slant. Researchers have also looked at using inner strength and positive psychology.
The effect of being in your power
Using inner strength then, for example, is doing things you know you can do well enough or even very well. That you can use your power in multiple areas and that you are familiar with using your inner power[1].
Research shows that when people do this regularly, it leads to less stress and greater self-confidence[2].
Psychological strength can also be recognized by hope (which often gives you that positive feeling even when you haven’t achieved something yet), optimism (the confidence that you can achieve it), self-efficacy (the feeling that you have the skills to reach your goal), and resilience (the ability to keep going even after a setback).
In general, your social environment ensures that these feelings are stimulated[3]. Now, you may be unlucky enough to be surrounded by negative people or their well-meaning support somehow does not work for you.
In this case, hypnosis can also help you strengthen feelings of optimism and the sense that you have it in you to achieve your goals. There are several techniques for this.
An advanced technique is to visualize and feel where you are in, say, a year from now if you want to achieve your goal and then visualize taking a step back each time until the time of the hypnosis session.
This gives you clear tools and steps to reach your goal, and experience shows that it often comes true! How cool is that?
So the compulsion blowout technique can help you determine that you want to leave certain pain behind and the above technique can then help you work toward the hopeful goal. This is then the catalyst for the good feelings.
Then again, if something is blocking you from determining this path there are other techniques to release those blockages, for example regression. Regression is a technique that you will learn in the first training of the Hypnosis Institute Netherlands.
That way, nothing will stand in your way of being in your power anymore.
Would you like to learn more about hypnosis and these techniques? Then join the free online masterclass on hypnosis.
Or enroll directly in one of the HIN's training courses. Trainings are conducted online from a professional studio and with plenty of assistance for one-on-one attention.
Sources:
[1] http://www.pprc.gg/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/strengths.pdf (page 159)
[2] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886910003946
[3] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.2466/pr0.106.2.534-538