Revenge with hypnosis: For feeling better
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Sometimes that just feels best when someone has done something to you. You then think of taking revenge. Getting revenge is something that many people think is a natural feeling, but that is not entirely true. That's why in this blog I discuss what influences your choice to take revenge and what you can do to make that decision in a good way
Getting revenge on someone
Revenge is making someone pay something. Someone may have done something to you and you want to do something back to that person to make you feel better again.
This is something you can do from an early age. When a child hits you, you still hit back as a child. If you get cut off on the highway, before you know it you're suffering from road rage and you're one traffic argument away.
It can be bigger, too. For example, you've been scammed someone has stolen money behind your back and then you can also become totally boiling with anger.
There is also another form of revenge. For example, if you’re dumped by your partner because you’ve become too fat or ugly, losing weight is often an act of revenge. It’s a way to show that you’re better than the other person. It’s a way to show that you mean more to people than the other person does[1].
You start thinking about revenge, but what are the pros and cons of this?
Benefits of Revenge
Taking revenge has a number of benefits, such as preventing future harm from the same person; strengthening future cooperation; and restoring self-esteem and power to the person who has been wronged (when they take revenge)[2].
Disadvantages of revenge
However, seeking revenge can also lead to other issues, such as depression and a lower sense of life satisfaction.
This may be because revenge creates good feelings only when the person you are retaliating against understands why you are retaliating. If this understanding is lacking, it can create the feeling that the event is not closed[3].
If your revenge is out of control, you may even find yourself facing justice.
Factors involved in taking revenge
If you want revenge, there are a number of factors that will determine whether you actually take action, namely:
- How long you stay angry about what happened.
- What revenge costs you (or what you gain from it).
- Norms and values about revenge from your culture or religion.
- The existence of a legal system that can get revenge for you.
In the Netherlands, there is a well-functioning legal system which means that if you have been violated you can report it and that person has to answer for it. You may think that prison sentences are too short here, but don't forget how difficult it is to live a life when you have a criminal record. Arranging insurance and finding a job then becomes a real pain in the ass.
The culture of the Netherlands has a Christian base that still often makes you want to give the other person a2nd chance. You want to "turn the other cheek", but how often can you do this? After all, you only have two cheeks. Moreover, in the Netherlands it is more normal to talk problems out than to become violent.
What does revenge cost you or what does it win you? This is the question that is important in revenge where you want to hurt the other person back, that can cost you a criminal record. Or the question that is important if you want to show the other person especially that he/she is nothing to you anymore. You then gain a meaningful life. A life where you show what you are capable of and where your talents are recognized. Surely that is a fine revenge.
The problem with seeking revenge in a more violent way is that you have to stay angry to have the energy to lose your temper. You keep dwelling on the harm that was done to you and can’t move on with your life. You keep replaying it over and over, traumatizing yourself in the process. If this goes on long enough, it can take on destructive forms that make you want to strike back or at least get even.
Tips for getting revenge
So how best to retaliate? To do this in a good and healthy way, I have some tips for you.
Tip #1: Fuck them
Realize that with your resentments of pain, you are not helping yourself. Therefore, this tip is also fuck them instead of fuck them up. Just fuck them up. You can't really start anything with people who don't listen to reason. Just let them go and show them that they mean nothing to you and that you will live your life regardless of their evil intentions.
When people with evil intentions can no longer interfere in your life, because fuck them, you no longer suffer from those intentions either.
Do you find it hard to walk away from difficult people? Then a hypnosis expert can help you figure out why this is so difficult for you, so you can more easily find a solution to this problem.
Tip 2: Show that you don't care
Once you’ve followed the first tip, you can move on to thesecond one: simply lead a better life than the person you want to take revenge on. With this mindset, you’ll actually grow and free yourself from the destructive mindset of violent revenge. This is actually the best kind of revenge, because it leads to a wonderful life.
If you think you have nothing to show for yourself, that you can’t grow, or don’t know where to start, a hypnosis expert can help you with this. For example, a hypnosis expert can help improve your self-confidence.
Tip 3: Make it a project
Has someone done something to you that affects many people? For example, were you hit by a drunk driver? Have you been a victim of a “loverboy” or “pimp”? Some problems lurk in society, and everyone just accepts them without doing much about them. As a form of revenge, you can turn this into a project to raise awareness about your problem and show that you’re not an isolated case. This is the best way to get your revenge.
Do you find it difficult to tell your story and raise awareness, but do you think this is a good idea? You can also do this anonymously, or under a pseudonym.
Is that too exciting? Then a hypnosis expert can help you take the steps. This can be done, for example, by visualizing the steps you need to take so you know exactly what to do and what emotions you may run into.
Tip 4: Play the game better
Sometimes just being a better person than the person who did something to you is the best revenge. Just play the game of life better. Find your passion with which you conquer your world. Have good relationships with people who have your best interests at heart instead of people who have their own best interests at heart.
Take care of your body and mind and just play the game better. Then you can thumb a long nose at them later if that person is still busy hurting people and ripping people off. That may work in the short term, but in the long term that person just doesn't have a life.
Tip 5: Strengthen your sense of self-confidence
Someone has done something to you in some area of your life. Maybe you were cheated financially. Maybe it was your physical integrity and maybe your relationship is fucked up. But that is just one part of your life and says nothing about you as a complete person. To let that alone diminish your entire self-confidence is a waste. Therefore, strengthen your sense of self-confidence again.
A hypnosis expert can help you with this.
Tip 6: Strengthen your sense of control
When someone hurts you, that’s also a moment when you’ve lost control. In that moment, you realize that when someone wants to hurt you, you don’t always have control over it. This puts a dent in your sense of power and your sense of control.
Fortunately, there is much you can do to improve your sense of control. You can read up on how to deal with what happened to you so it doesn't happen again.
A hypnosis expert can also help you regain a sense of control. There are several techniques for this, such as giving hypnotic suggestions.
With these 6 tips and information on getting revenge, you can now take revenge in a healthy, self-help manner. Hypnosis can play an important role in this. Would you like to know exactly how hypnosis can help? Then come to a hypnosis workshop or sign up for one of the courses offered by the Hypnosis Institute of the Netherlands.
[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/articles/201901/the-best-way-get-revenge?collection=1126993
[2] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2010.00322.x
[3] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S002210310900050X