Resigning: When and how to do it safely?

Resigning is not something you do lightly, but if you go to work crying every day, it may be time to change something in your life so that you can still be happy.

Why do you want to quit your job

There are many reasons to quit a job. You might quit because you feel you no longer fit in at the company, or because you see other opportunities in your life, such as a better job.

More and more people are also quitting their jobs to start their own businesses. Many people believe they’ll find more fulfillment—or enjoyment—in entrepreneurship than in a salaried career. Research shows that this is true for people who start a small business and even for those who take a salaried position at a startup. But if you’re the owner of a larger company, you don’t necessarily enjoy your work any more than you would as a salaried employee[1].

Many people who are dissatisfied with their mental health also want to quit their jobs if they can afford to[2]. That is, either if they have saved enough money or if they have found another job. Especially if you feel that your job isn’t really meaningful, you may be more inclined to change jobs.

If you’re nearing retirement, you might also want to quit your job for the sake of your health. For example, if you have a physically demanding job, this can help improve your health. If you have a mentally demanding job, it can help reduce symptoms of depression[3].

Having a supervisor who cannot communicate and is not good at leading can also be grounds for resignation. In fact, the bond you have with your supervisor can cause mental problems if it is not good. For example, you are then more likely to continue working when you are actually sick, which of course is not at all convenient[4].

Is resignation even necessary?

Maybe your job is stressful or you don’t feel like it’s meaningful —but is that really the case? If you work a lot, you might also have trouble standing up for yourself —especially when it comes to setting boundaries. Have you ever tried that? Yes, and it didn’t work? Then it’s perfectly understandable that you want to quit your job.

But if the answer is "no," why haven't you mentioned that you want to work less or what your problem is?

It's helpful to explore that and to test whether or not you can say things to co-workers or your supervisor first, especially if you want to resign anyway. After all, what do you have to lose. For the same money, they actually respond positively to your problems and it gets resolved. Then you won't have to look for another job either.

With a toxic boss, it can also be helpful not to give feedback, but to simply ask for what you need. Sometimes you can also look within a company to see if you can go to another department[5].

If you find it difficult to try this out, you can examine which beliefs you hold that make it hard for you to, for example, set boundaries or point out areas for improvement at work.

For example, a hypnotherapist can help you figure out why you don't do certain things when you secretly know it would be more convenient to do them. Beliefs about work and how to deal with managers or bosses can make it difficult for you to create a good work environment. There are several techniques that can be used for this, such as cognitive behavioral therapy with a focus on hypnotherapy[6].

Steps for resigning

Have you stood up for yourself, but no one is listening to you? In that case, it might still be in your best interest to quit your job, but of course, you don’t want to end up in a poverty trap .

Therefore, it is first important to have an alternative. Finding a new job may be important or perhaps you already have your own business in addition to your job that provides income.

Now you may think you don't have enough energy to look for another job in addition to your current one.

But it’s important to realize that continuing to work for someone who isn’t good for you is unhealthy. A Swedish study shows that men who continue to work for a toxic boss are 60% more likely to suffer a heart attack, stroke, or another life-threatening cardiovascular condition (source 5).

Other research shows that continuing to work in an environment that is not good for you increases the risk of depression and worsens your immune system. If you then quit your job, it can take another 22 months to recover physically and emotionally from that bad boss (source 5).

To still have the energy to find another job and to keep going until you have an alternative, it’s important to surround yourself with people who have your best interests at heart. Talk to friends and coworkers. Do things outside of work that make you happy.

Also, continue to pay close attention to your health. Exercise, sleep and meditate. Mindfulness can be very helpful in keeping your mind in the here and now and not thinking about your annoying boss when you are with your friends, for example.

Practical Steps

If you resign, you often have to give at least a month's notice. Write a professional resignation letter so that if your (former) boss is ever called for a reference he/she does not have a reason to be dickish.

Make a plan for your job transition. For example, clearly outline what projects you are still going to complete and what you won't take off once you turn in your resignation letter. Stick to these plans.

Make sure you have everything ready in case you have a boss who wants you gone immediately when you hand in your resignation letter. That will save a lot of hassle.

If you find it difficult to stay professional and actually hand in the letter, a hypnotherapist can help you with visualizations about resigning to make this easier.

Applying for a new job

If you ’re applying for a new job, don’t badmouth your previous or current boss. All the interviewer will see is someone complaining about their current boss and job, even though they don’t know your current manager (source 5). That can give the wrong impression if you’re actually just eager to get to work.

Making yourself mentally strong for redundancy

If you’ve worked in an unhealthy environment for a long time, your self-confidence may have been severely diminished. Perhaps you’ve also stayed in a job for too long because you think you’re not good enough to find work elsewhere.

Hypnotherapy, fortunately, can very well help you improve your self-confidence[7]. If you are currently afraid to quit your job or look for another job, a hypnotherapist can help you identify why you feel that way. That belief can then be replaced with a belief that you do deserve to have a job that makes you happy and gives your life meaning.

With regression, for example, you can identify what ’s holding you back. You then go back to the moment in your life that caused that blockage. With the help of a hypnotherapist, you can reinterpret that moment, and this alone can help you gain more confidence in your abilities and improve your chances of finding a new job.

This can also change your self-image[8]. For example, you might see yourself as a victim of your current job, but after hypnosis, you might see yourself as a survivor and someone who is actively seeking solutions to take control of your own life.

In addition, you can receive hypnotic suggestions that help you improve your self-confidence. These suggestions may include:

"If I wasn't good at my job I would have been fired a long time ago."

"I can figure anything out."

"I deserve a job that suits me."

"I have connections that help me."

These are just examples. Depending on your problems with quitting your job, a hypnotherapist can give you other suggestions that will help you find a new job so you can quit your current one.

Resigning is sometimes the last difficult step you take when you are in a job that makes you dead unhappy. Before you quit, though, it is helpful if you have an alternative, such as a somewhat running your own business or another job.

If you want to quit your job, chances are that you are now unhappy with your job, and that can have a lot of impact on your physical and mental health. It is therefore important to take care of your health outside of work. Hypnotherapy can help you with your mental health to gain the confidence to find a new job.

Would you like to learn more about how hypnosis can help? Then join us for the free online masterclass.

Or register for a seminar or training from the Hypnosis Institute Netherlands.

Sources: