When you're a little older and you look back on the choices you've made and where you are now, you may think, I want to start a new life. But that's all easier said than done.
Moments like this often come during summer vacation and holidays. It's as if being with your loved ones suddenly makes it completely clear that there really isn't that much love.
Or when it comes to your work, for example, that you find that after the vacations you find it quite difficult to do the things that are required at work.
How to make sure you don't fall into the same traps in the future as you have in the past. How do you make sure you do enter into loving relationships and do work you enjoy?
And starting a new life is also very drastic, which can involve:
- Starting a new career
- Stopping relationship(s) and getting to know people again
So this can involve much more than just your love affair. You may even be done with certain friends and want to change that completely.
But is this really the case? If you find that your friends, partner or other people around you are really just bringing you down and making you unhappy, then it may indeed be time to turn your life around.
It may also be that it's time to set your boundaries, if you haven't already.
To make a fresh start, there are a number of steps to take. These can be both practical and mental steps.
Insights on starting new lives
For example, research shows that starting a new life does not mean saying goodbye to your old life all at once. Research shows that if you have friends who fit into both stages of life, this accelerates your own self-image about your new stage of life[1].
So also check in your `old' group of friends to see if there is someone among them who can be your bridging buddy, so to speak. And if this is difficult, know that finding friends quickly in your new phase of life can be helpful in dealing with the awkward moments of change (source 1).
Refugees often need to start a new life as well. There is a lot of research on that that we can learn a lot from. The feeling of "belonging" in the new country (= new life) is important for their well-being[2].
So if you want a new group of friends, or change careers. See if there are any associations or clubs you can join.
These are a few practical considerations, but making new friends is also often easier said than done.
It is important that you do not fall into the trap of choosing the wrong job, lifestyle or social environment again, for example.
Identifying and changing beliefs
Life consists of certain facets, and many people have adjusted their personalities accordingly. As a result, you may feel that you are someone different at work than you are at home.
Especially if you find that you can't really be yourself anywhere, chances are you want to start a new life.
But perhaps a new section will do as well.
In each area of your life, you can examine, why did I end up where I am now? What choices led to this and what beliefs were the choices based on at the time?
A hypnotherapist can help people with this. In fact, hypnosis allows you to explore memories, such as from moments that led to certain unconscious beliefs. Like the belief that everyone you pay attention to is your friend or something similar.
These kinds of memories can be changed with hypnosis, causing you to view certain problems differently[3]. Then, for example, someone is only considered a friend if what he says to you keeps you at least neutral and does not make you feel worse.
Dismantling automatic processes
Something else hypnosis can do very well is dismantle automatic processes. For example, do you have certain behavioral patterns, such as that you always say "yes" when someone asks you something or that you start eating when you are stressed.
When you get triggered and always react the same way at such a moment, it's a kind of mental automatic process.
A hypnotherapist can give you insight into these unconscious processes and, with certain suggestions, break those processes and help you "install" new helping processes.
Such as that when someone asks you if you can do something, you check your calendar or to-do list before answering and then if you don't have time you say no more easily.
In the process, you can use visualizations to practice saying "no" so it feels less crazy, and you can even give multiple polite options, such as "No, but I know X will like that."
For example, the SWISH technique is often used to teach new habits. For example, if you want to start over, but now with a healthy lifestyle, you might be suggested to take a moment to stretch or walk when stressed. Instead of reaching for the chocolate or something similar.
Processing trauma to change your life
Unfortunately, it is often the case that a life not lived as desired has been triggered by some trauma, which can be so painful that you have turned to substances or no longer trust people. As a result, you actually end up in a kind of negative spiral.
If you can already see clearly that trauma is the reason you are now at a certain point in your life that makes you want to start over, then it's good to know that with hypnotherapy you can even stimulate post-traumatic growth .
For example, you may have all kinds of uncomfortable emotions long after the event and think about it a lot. In many cases of veterans and children who have experienced abuse, there is dissociation. You then actually feel no good connection with your body and your life, allowing you to do "as you should" for a very long time, without making yourself happier.
Processing the trauma can then do much to reconnect with yourself and, as a result, a new life can begin.
Hypnotherapy can help people with trauma process it and see their inner strength , and be able to place the distress in a bigger picture, allowing it to still take on another meaning[4].
Sometimes there are also circumstances that require you to start a new life, such as when you have been in an accident that requires rehabilitation. Even in those cases, hypnosis can help improve your self-confidence and your sense of "I can do this,"[5] making it easier to move to part 2 of your life 😉.
Boosting self-confidence for new work
Starting a new life may mean making a career switch, or working somewhere new. If you want to change careers, chances are you will need to learn new skills. This can often be done with some sort of apprenticeship. Many colleges, for example, offer this to pull teachers out of the field.
But then, of course, you have to believe you can learn something new. Hypnosis helps people believe in their academic skills[6]. And that, in turn, makes you enjoy starting a new life this way as well.
Many people who take the training from the Hypnosis Institute Netherlands , for example, do so in addition to their current jobs, because they still want a different life (at least professionally), than what they have now.
Strengthen self-confidence for new relationships
Perhaps you have been dealing with a divorce, or even the death of a loved one, and therefore want to start a new life. However, we humans are social creatures so it is helpful to also make good connections in your new life.
Even for this, self-confidence can help you form new relationships and friendships.
If you want to start a new life, it may also be that the people you have had in your life so far have not made you happy and have even given you social anxiety. This may be the case unconsciously, for example, if you see yourself as a loner.
Hypnotherapy can help you overcome social anxiety. This prevents panic attacks in new social situations and makes it easier to form new relationships[7].
Learn hypnosis for your new life
Whether you want to help people transform themselves for a new life or gain your own understanding of hypnosis that can help you with the new life. Learning hypnosis can be helpful.
Come to our free master class for an introduction.
Or register for one of our events and trainings.
Click here for a list of our training programs.
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