My fascination with success

Success is an interesting thing. In this blog, you may read a liberating idea about it.

What has long fascinated me is when people are successful. For themselves, for example. Or on the outside for outsiders. And also what they themselves think of it. Most people do not consider themselves successful at all, strangely enough. While outsiders see those people as successful. That fascinates me.

But also, what exactly is that? What is success, anyway? And when do you actually achieve it?

I think that's a very big hypnosis. Because I am of the statement : "You don't have it, you do it," also the title of my first book. With success, the same is true.

You don't have success because you can't grasp it. It's not a thing. So it is something you are doing. What you are doing. And successful "being," then, is not possible. You are "doing" successful.

Everyone successful

I think everyone does things successfully. It’s just that, well, we’ve attached certain values to it. As a result, the outside world says, “Yes, now you’re successful. Now you can say you’re successful.” But that feels really strange if you don’t necessarily experience it that way yourself.

I know about myself that I do many successful things. For example, I do a lot of things well. And also the things that others would say, "Hey, but that's not good at all, is it?I do those very well, too!

For example, I can successfully not listen to anyone. I can do that very well. I won't say it's helpful, especially in private situations.... But I can do that very well! So I also do that successfully. Someone else might say, "You're not successful at that, at listening. I do successfully not listen! ;-)

You could say that you actually do everything successfully, but yes, what is the degree of that? And that fascinates me, because that's different for everyone.

We actually do success all the time. First, we are alive. That's already a success. You breathe. That's a success. You might drink without spilling. That is a success. Even if you do spill you do that also very successfully. So actually you are constantly doing very successful things. You are one lump of success you might say! All of them.

Values

It’s just that we’ve attached certain values to it. As a result, we can say about ourselves or others: “Yeah, okay, we all do successful things, but they’re really successful…” And what does that mean? That’s different for everyone.

Sometimes that has to do with money. If someone has a million euros in their bank account, then that person is successful. It can also be about time—for example, a couple who’ve been together for 20 years. Or people who work out three times a week, and when you compare that to yourself—say, you work out once a week—and you don’t have a million in the bank. Or you don’t have a 20-year relationship. Then you suddenly feel like a mess. You think, “Shit, man, so I’m not successful.” And you might find that annoying. Or even start saying that success isn’t important to you. Which, of course, is also an interesting thing to say. I actually think that’s a fallacy. No, you don’t think the values people have attached to it are important—that’s different from thinking that doing things successfully is important.

You can be successful at failing. Or successful at procrastinating. So, in a way, you’re doing things successfully all the time. That fascinates me—the whole idea of when something is actually considered a success.

On the outside, I increasingly hear people say about me, "Yes he has a certain level of success. Whereas internally I sometimes have that idea sometimes I don't. I can still be very successful at putting things off, avoiding things, or very successful at doing things that are not convenient, or that I find scary to do. I'm successful at that, but I don't consider that to be successful myself. I have a certain degree of how I would like to be, and if I were that way 24/7, then I am successful.

Is that achievable?

I think so. Otherwise, it would be hard to make it. For example, I do wish I could relax a little better . I would like to make more of an impact. Want to share my ideas even more. Become even bigger with the company. Yes, I have an idea about that too, I'm working on that and I haven't had that level of success yet. I'm working on that to date nicely! But not that degree of "success" yet. And there are all these pieces in between right now. Having said that, I am thinking now, it is not that I am frustrated. That I'm not making it or not yet.

I also do see people acting frustrated, feeling frustrated that they don't have that success while doing a lot of successful things. I used to have that. And I'm talking about 10 years ago. But that's not the case anymore. I have that peace of mind, fortunately, because that is also a goal of mine. I don't want to be frustrated. Not that I am never frustrated, but much less than 10 years ago. That's also a measure of doing things successfully. So, concretely for me, the outside is never the inside.

It's the value you attach to success. A way of life. I think that's nice for yourself! That you just hold to your own standard. If you say, "I don't think it's all that important," then you can do very successfully in that, in not finding that important. To experience a lot of peace, for example. Or to connect a lot with people. If that's how you want to name success, go ahead! Then at some point, when you take a closer look at that, you can say, 'Wait a minute! I'm super successful, man!" what things are you already doing successfully? And if you make that list then you will see that you are more successful than you thought! Even the things you don't do well you also do SO well! ;-)

Progression

That gives a lot of room to improve. We're always improving things anyway. It's kind of in your nature to learn new things, to try out, to make progression. And it can also be like instead of taking 5 minutes of rest, I'll take 15. Or instead of meditating for 10 minutes you're going to meditate for 1 or 2 hours, okay fine. But the moment you naturally start comparing with other people, "Ah, man, he's going to meditate for 2 hours and I can't even hold it for a minute! Yes, then suddenly you are not successful. But if you compare it to yourself then you do 1 minute of meditation very well! That may be a crazy comparison, but then you are still successful at that. If you look at it that way then it all falls away. Then it's all fine. Then it's only about some kind of progression. Standing still is also progression. Go experience, enjoy. All verbs by which you also make progression.

This has helped me a lot to be less frustrated. Because then, yes, what everyone else is doing is actually irrelevant. Because we're all doing successful things. We all do success. Everybody. So why compare that or anything? One does it that way successfully, I do it that way successfully.

From your wonder and admiration, you can be inspired and make progress. This is how we are all learning.

Well, this was what concerns me about success. And everyone is really just doing well, man. In their own unique way. That mindset helps me. And maybe now it helps you, too.

Ciao!

Also listen to this podcast:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1lylOS3tlMoIlncfYn6CI1?si=c87d4623b1c8454f

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