Success is an interesting thing. In this blog, you may read a liberating idea about it.
What has long fascinated me is when people are successful. For themselves, for example. Or on the outside for outsiders. And also what they themselves think of it. Most people do not consider themselves successful at all, strangely enough. While outsiders see those people as successful. That fascinates me.
But also, what is that? Just what is success? And when do you have it?
I think that's a very big hypnosis. Because I am of the statement : "You don't have it, you do it," also the title of my first book. With success, the same is true.
You don't have success because you can't grasp it. It's not a thing. So it is something you are doing. What you are doing. And successful "being," then, is not possible. You are "doing" successful.
Everyone successful
I think everyone does things successfully. Only, yes, we have certain values attached to it. To which the outside world is going to say, 'Yes, now you are successful. Now you can say you are successful.' But that feels very strange when you yourself may not experience it that way at all.
I know about myself that I do many successful things. For example, I do a lot of things well. And also the things that others would say, "Hey, but that's not good at all, is it?I do those very well, too!
For example, I can successfully not listen to anyone. I can do that very well. I won't say it's helpful, especially in private situations.... But I can do that very well! So I also do that successfully. Someone else might say, "You're not successful at that, at listening. I do successfully not listen! ;-)
You could say that you actually do everything successfully, but yes, what is the degree of that? And that fascinates me, because that's different for everyone.
We actually do success all the time. First, we are alive. That's already a success. You breathe. That's a success. You might drink without spilling. That is a success. Even if you do spill you do that also very successfully. So actually you are constantly doing very successful things. You are one lump of success you might say! All of them.
Values
Only now we have certain values attached to it. By which we can say about ourselves or others, 'Yes, okay, we all do successful things, but they are really successful...' And what is that? It's different for everyone.
Sometimes this has to do with money. When someone has a million euros in their bank account, they are successful. It can also be in terms of time, for example, a couple who has been in a relationship for 20 years. Or people who train 3x a week, and if you compare that to yourself while you train 1x a week, for example, and you don't have a million in the bank. Or you're not in a relationship for 20 years. Then all of a sudden you feel fucked up. Then you think "Shit man, so I'm not successful. And then you may find that annoying. Or even start saying that you don't think success is important. Which, of course, is another interesting thing to say. I think that's actually a fallacy. No, you don't find the values that people have attached to it important, which is different from finding doing successful things important.
You can be successful at failing. Or be successful at procrastinating. So basically you do things successfully all the time. That fascinates me, that whole idea of when is something successful then.
On the outside, I increasingly hear people say about me, "Yes he has a certain level of success. Whereas internally I sometimes have that idea sometimes I don't. I can still be very successful at putting things off, avoiding things, or very successful at doing things that are not convenient, or that I find scary to do. I'm successful at that, but I don't consider that to be successful myself. I have a certain degree of how I would like to be, and if I were that way 24/7, then I am successful.
Is that achievable?
I think so. Otherwise, it would be hard to make it. For example, I do wish I could relax a little better. I would like to make more of an impact. Want to share my ideas even more. Become even bigger with the company. Yes, I have an idea about that too, I'm working on that and I haven't had that level of success yet. I'm working on that to date nicely! But not that degree of "success" yet. And there are all these pieces in between right now. Having said that, I am thinking now, it is not that I am frustrated. That I'm not making it or not yet.
I also do see people acting frustrated, feeling frustrated that they don't have that success while doing a lot of successful things. I used to have that. And I'm talking about 10 years ago. But that's not the case anymore. I have that peace of mind, fortunately, because that is also a goal of mine. I don't want to be frustrated. Not that I am never frustrated, but much less than 10 years ago. That's also a measure of doing things successfully. So, concretely for me, the outside is never the inside.
It's the value you attach to success. A way of life. I think that's nice for yourself! That you just hold to your own standard. If you say, "I don't think it's all that important," then you can do very successfully in that, in not finding that important. To experience a lot of peace, for example. Or to connect a lot with people. If that's how you want to name success, go ahead! Then at some point, when you take a closer look at that, you can say, 'Wait a minute! I'm super successful, man!" what things are you already doing successfully? And if you make that list then you will see that you are more successful than you thought! Even the things you don't do well you also do SO well! ;-)
Progression
That gives a lot of room to improve. We're always improving things anyway. It's kind of in your nature to learn new things, to try out, to make progression. And it can also be like instead of taking 5 minutes of rest, I'll take 15. Or instead of meditating for 10 minutes you're going to meditate for 1 or 2 hours, okay fine. But the moment you naturally start comparing with other people, "Ah, man, he's going to meditate for 2 hours and I can't even hold it for a minute! Yes, then suddenly you are not successful. But if you compare it to yourself then you do 1 minute of meditation very well! That may be a crazy comparison, but then you are still successful at that. If you look at it that way then it all falls away. Then it's all fine. Then it's only about some kind of progression. Standing still is also progression. Go experience, enjoy. All verbs by which you also make progression.
This has helped me a lot to be less frustrated. Because then, yes, what everyone else is doing is actually irrelevant. Because we're all doing successful things. We all do success. Everybody. So why compare that or anything? One does it that way successfully, I do it that way successfully.
From your wonder and admiration, you can be inspired and make progress. This is how we are all learning.
Well, this was what concerns me about success. And everyone is really just doing well, man. In their own unique way. That mindset helps me. And maybe now it helps you, too.
Ciao!
Also listen to this podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1lylOS3tlMoIlncfYn6CI1?si=c87d4623b1c8454f
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