It's not working: now what?
You're working on something but not succeeding. Or you haven't even started and are already afraid it won't work. Terribly inconvenient, because if you think something won't work out, chances are it won't. In this blog, I'm going to explain to you what it is about those thoughts about when something succeeds or fails and what you can do to make it more likely that what you want to achieve will succeed
A common moment for many people when anxiety or the feeling that something won’t work out arises is right before taking an exam. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a high school exam, a vocational education exam, or perhaps even your thesis.
When you are afraid or feel that something will not work out you also often have procrastination and do not feel in control of your own actions[1]. The longer your procrastination lasts, the less confidence you have that something will succeed.
Since you have to do this on your own, it really comes down to your self-confidence. Your self-confidence depends largely on your self-worth and your belief that you can successfully accomplish something. That little voice in your head that occasionally tells you how well—or poorly—you’re doing something often says a lot about your self-confidence.
Also watch this video about whether or not something succeeds:
Changing the voice in your head
Do you mostly picture how something fails and then everything goes wrong? That is extremely unfortunate, because by changing that voice in your head you can do an awful lot to change your feeling that something is going to succeed.
Research shows that talking positively to yourself helps you be a better leader and boosts your creativity, very useful when you need to solve problems.
In the process, it is also good for your well-being[2].
There are 2 ways to talk to yourself, namely:
In the I form: "I can do this!"
Or in the you form: "You can do this; Henk* come on!"
Using the you form and calling your own name motivates more to get started and achieve success than thinking in the "I form." Probably because you encourage yourself more as a friend and you put more pressure on yourself in the I form than in the you form anyway[3].
*Please use your own first name if possible.
Are you very strict right now? Then check for yourself if you can manage to use your name while thinking about the work you want to succeed at and encourage yourself.
There are multiple ways to encourage yourself:
- Literally encourage yourself.
- Instructing yourself.
- Relax yourself by making the context smaller.
So you can literally encourage yourself as in the first example. In addition, you can also instruct yourself, such as:
"Edwin, now go start your computer and write a blog." At least this kind of instruction will also reduce procrastination.
Relaxing yourself can be done in the following ways:
"Edwin, this is going to work out just fine. There's always another blog you can write better."
With this way of talking into yourself, you can already become much more optimistic about whether something will succeed or not.
Do you find it difficult to think positively? Then a hypnosis expert can help you change your thinking. This is then done in conjunction with cognitive behavioral therapy.
For example, you will receive hypnotic suggestions in the form you can talk into yourself to encourage that way of thinking. Especially since you can listen to these daily on an mp3 during self-hypnosis.
Visualizing success
Another way to feel less like something isn’t working is to imagine that it is working. In everything you do, it’s important to visualize that success first.
You see before you what you do to achieve success. What it looks like when something succeeds and what this feels like. By imagining this you are already much more likely to assume that something will succeed.
If you find it difficult to imagine doing it, a hypnosis expert can help you with a guided visualization.
For example, when needing to pass an exam:
"You are in the school building and walking to the exam room. You focus on breathing and resting your body. You are well prepared because you have been studying every afternoon and evening all week to pass this exam. This preparation gives you the confidence that you will succeed. You sit relaxed with the examiners and do what needs to be done. You stay focused, go over in your mind the actions and knowledge for the answers you need to give to pass. Afterwards, you feel good and go home in good spirits. Weeks later, you are told that you passed and that everything worked out well. It feels good."
This is just an example of a guided visualization. Depending on your thing that is not working, a hypnosis expert can give you another visualization that is more applicable to your problem and beliefs.
Don't give up
Something doesn't actually succeed until you stop doing it completely. Completely. So one way to make something succeed is by not giving up. Not giving up does not mean you have to keep going at a stretch like crazy until you get the success you want.
Sometimes you need a breather—a vacation to recharge after the journey toward your success, which, of course, has its ups and downs.
For example, Edison was inventing the light bulb. This took an incredibly long time and he saw all his previous attempts not as failures, as not succeeding, but as ways that did not work.
By seeing not succeeding as a learning opportunity, you eventually get to succeeding at what you want to succeed at. This is a very useful way to improve perseverance.
If you feel you are too stupid to learn anything, a hypnosis expert can help you, too.
This feeling of low self-confidence may have originated somewhere in the past. For example, your beliefs are formed during childhood, and if a teacher, classmate, or someone else told you back then that you were too stupid to learn something, this may have become a belief that is now preventing you from achieving your goals.
To find out why you hold certain beliefs, you can use regression. Don’t have a clear cause? Then you could even look into reincarnation therapy, but let’s stick with regression for now. With regression, you go back to a moment in your life when an unhealthy belief originated.
Now, of course, you have much more life experience than when you were a child. Therefore, you can now look at that moment with more knowledge. For example, if it was a teacher, you now know that many people join the pabo because they don't think they can handle "real" life, except, of course, quite a few child lovers. Maybe it was such a teacher.
If it was a classmate you now know that children do often say things they know nothing else about. Who knows, maybe he repeated the words he heard at home to you.
So when you think you can't succeed, first look at how you talk to yourself in general. Keep believing that you will succeed. To reinforce this belief, talk to yourself in the you form and use your own first name.
In addition, it is helpful to see the do succeed in front of you. Visualizing it makes you much more likely to succeed.
Not giving up is also very important. When something fails, it is helpful to realize that you are actually having a learning moment right now. Why is it not working out? What can you do differently that might make it work? By allowing yourself to learn you will naturally arrive at the moment when you can say "I did it!".
Would you like to learn more about how hypnosis works and how you can use it to help yourself and others? Then come to the hypnosis workshop or sign up for a training course.
[1] https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10459-018-9832-3
[2] http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2013-05936-005
[3] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201505/the-voice-reason