Being tolerant with each other. It is incredibly important, especially in the Netherlands, because we are such a densely populated country. You have to tolerate your neighbors, the people at work, the people on the road. Sometimes you may want to beat around the bush like a wild baboon because for a moment you are completely fed up with everyone. Because as Stalin said, "No people, no problem." Unfortunately, or fortunately, Stalin is not really the example you want to follow
Are you noticing that you are becoming increasingly irritated with other people? If so, you may have a problem with how tolerant you are. What do you accept and not accept from others now, and how do you resolve it when the limit is reached?
What is tolerance?
According to the Cambridge dictionary, to be tolerant is to accept the behavior and beliefs of others, even if you disagree with them[1].
Precisely because beliefs and behavior are often determined by your culture, being tolerant is seen as something that comes with multicultural society, but it is more than that.
Being tolerant also means that, as an Ajax supporter, you can meet a Feyenoord supporter without going straight to fist with them. It also means that you can end discussions at birthday parties by agreeing to disagree on a particular topic and move on to the next topic.
Such a discussion, take for example the one about Black Pete, can really spoil a party completely. Tolerance, then, keeps things cozy.
When are you intolerant?
So you are tolerant if you can live with the fact that there are people around you who think about things differently than you do and who behave differently than what you necessarily think is normal.
You are intolerant when you cannot do this. When you keep arguing when you know you're not going to get out of this anyway. When you become aggressive when you encounter someone with a different opinion.
Intolerance can be a big problem because it reduces your social circle. For example, you only want to interact with people who think and act the same as you, but if they don't live in your neighborhood it can lead to loneliness.
In the process, your intolerance can be amplified when you only deal with people who think and act the same as you, especially if they are also prejudiced, and because of this, your thinking, whatever it is, can become more and more extreme because fear is contagious. Then when you encounter someone who is even more intolerant than you, this line of thinking can be ignited[2].
Therefore, it is important to keep in mind that you can at least walk through 1 door with your neighbor.
How do you become tolerant again?
There are many theories on how to become tolerant again. For example, it is recommended to interact more with people who have different opinions or behaviors than you in order to become tolerant again, but this can also turn out to be wrong.
In a good experience of contact with people you are normally intolerant of, you ensure that you indeed become tolerant.
Have a bad experience, however? Then this only confirms your image of intolerance and you may become even more intolerant.
The origins of intolerance
As indicated, intolerance has to do with fear. When something fearful happens to you, such as rioting soccer fans, it can make you intolerant of soccer fans of a particular team. This is also often why people think soccer clubs should pay for their own security when a "high-risk" match is played.
In addition, you can also develop intolerance as a child due to negative experiences. For example, if you were bullied by a fat child, this may have caused you to become intolerant of fat people. It can also be more subtle. In fact, children also perceive body language to know what an adult thinks about something now. Teachers and parents, in particular, are important for children to form opinions about the world and how it works. In this way, you can very unconsciously become intolerant of certain people.
Do you struggle with certain people and notice that this is nevertheless becoming a problem for your daily functioning? Then hypnosis can help you become tolerant again, without crossing the line of naiveté.
Find Source
Not quite sure why you are intolerant of certain people? Then hypnosis can help you with regression. Especially if the intolerance is from childhood, this can help because small moments can have a big impact on your beliefs.
Especially now that you have more life experience, regression can help because you are evaluating the moment with the knowledge of now, so to speak. This can make very illogical beliefs disappear, allowing you to get along better with other people.
Visualizing how you do tolerate
Another way to be tolerant is to visualize tolerant behavior. For example, do you always have a nasty discussion at a family gathering with someone about politics and you just can't stop trying to get your opinion accepted and the other person doesn't stop either? Then you can visualize what the moment looks like when you agree to disagree, empathize more with the other person and then still have a pleasant day.
A guided visualization can then go the following way:
"You're at a birthday party and you're feeling good. Then along comes that one person who always wants to talk politics with you. Ahead, you give him another chance, but instead of going against him by default you ask this time. You ask how he sees it then and why that way, for more understanding. You also give your own opinion and when he then tries to convince you to adopt his opinion you indicate that you understand him, but just see it differently. You say let's agree to disagree. Then you point out a less loaded topic, like the refreshments or what he's going to do this weekend."
Depending on your beliefs and what moments you want to shape differently, the guided visualization may go differently. This is just an example.
Increase Empathy
You automatically have more empathy with people in the "group" you identify with[3]. By increasing your empathy toward people in general, you can also reduce your intolerance.
Whatever beliefs you hold, you are all dealing with the struggles you face in life. You are all looking for a stable income, love and health. When this fails, it is equally annoying for everyone regardless of which group you identify with.
To improve your empathy toward people who do not necessarily behave and think like you, your beliefs are examined. About this you first have a conversation with the hypnosis expert. Following this conversation you will receive hypnotic suggestions that you can repeat at home during self-hypnosis. You can also receive an mp3 with a self-hypnosis exercise to which coming under and coming out of hypnosis are added.
Hypnotic suggestions can take the following form:
"You can live your life the way you want to."
"You're able to interact with people you don't know very well," he says.
"You don't have to become friends with everyone," says Dr. K. K., "but you have to become friends with everyone."
"People are all different and yet the same again."
"You have your struggles and everyone else has theirs."
These are just examples of hypnotic suggestions. Depending on your beliefs, these may be different if you go to a hypnosis expert.
Being tolerant is important for functioning in modern society. Therefore, to avoid social isolation, it is important to eliminate intolerance so that you can take advantage of all the opportunities and possibilities that can be found.
To become tolerant, you can look at the cause of your intolerance with regression. You can imagine showing more tolerant behavior toward people you normally prefer not to talk to or get into arguments with, and improve your empathy.
Hypnosis can help in multiple ways to make you more tolerant if you have now become so intolerant that this is a problem for you. Want to know how hypnosis can help you or other people? Then come to a hypnosis playshop or check out the training courses at the Hypnosis Institute Netherlands.
[1] https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/tolerance
[2] http://www.hermannswart.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/2013_Hodson-Hewstone-Swart-Chapter-in-Advances-in-Intergroup-Contact.pdf
[3] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/domestic-intelligence/201811/anti-semitism-and-the-pandemic-intolerance?collection=1120960
