How to make someone really happy
Celine Charlotte, super cool to see how she has managed to gain many followers in a short time with Insta. She has a lot of interaction with those followers. When I look at that I think, "How is that possible? "
Some people are just a few years in and even then it just doesn't come.
She is also a few years in, but with her it is coming.
This has to do with the “go-first” principle. If you want more interaction, start by interacting, by connecting, by being present. If you want to make someone happy, make yourself happy first. Act happy, and you’ll inspire the other person to do the same.
If you strike a depressed tone, you won't make people happy either. Acting depressed all day doesn't help. By acting happy you can't even make people depressed, even if the content of what you say is depressing.
By making the tone, the speed at which you talk and the content depressing, your state of mind goes down. It becomes different. You then feel less good.
You can also be triggered by things that are said, or things that happen. But you can also react differently. This is not always easy, but it can be done.
You can also respond differently to what someone says.
But if you want to help someone move forward, make someone happy or cheer them up, you have to be—or stay—in that state yourself. This can also be difficult.
Imagine you work in an open-plan office and, out of the eight people there, you’re the only happy one—that can be really tough. This is because people who are feeling a little down often become even more depressed around very happy people, because the gap between those two emotions is too wide.
Then the distance can be even greater. If that happy person then also says something like "come on man" and acts even more intensely happy, then the distance can become even greater. It is counterproductive. You are not making the other person happier.
Then, for example, you better do something more neutral. That you tell a little more calmly about your fun weekend. Then the other person at least has the chance to hook in when they want to. That is always the other person's choice.
So what you do best is to make your tone similar to the other person you want to cheer up. Start calmly about your weekend, slowly raise the tone and then take that other person into a happier frame of mind.
This is the principle of go-first.
When I want to put people into a hypnotic state, I first put myself into a slight hypnotic state as well. I enter a state where someone can follow along. For example, I relax myself and speak to that person in a relaxed tone.
Then you talk deeper and deeper and more relaxed each time. From that state, you can bring people along much more easily.
This is how you make relaxation sound too.
This is not higher math, but it is very important.
When someone understands it, experiments with it and it works, suddenly it is very easy to hypnotize.
You can apply the go-first principle to social media in this way as well. Take people first and then interact. This allows you to get a lot of followers together and ensure that those people will also respond and really connect with you.
So this principle of go-first is not only there in hypnosis and to make people happy face-to-face, you see this even online.
People will do something for you if they want to do it themselves and if they feel comfortable doing so.
You notice this, for example, when you walk into the supermarket. When you smile, most people smile back. Experiment with this.
Also listen to this podcast.
https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/1301491-hoe-maak-je-iemand-echt-heel-blij
What science says helps
In the process, making other people happy or happy also helps make yourself happy. This involves more than just being social. No, making a real effort to make someone else happy also makes yourself happier. Whether you succeed or fail doesn't really matter much, but your idea of whether you succeeded in making someone else happier[1] does.
In this regard, sharing positive news also helps[2]. In doing so, however, keep in mind the aforementioned principle of first considering the state of the recipient of the good news.
By showing online when you agree with someone, you also help that person become happier[3].
That said, there isn’t really a formula that guarantees everyone will be happy. Ultimately, different things make different people happy[4]. For example , contributing to society isn’t necessarily something that makes you happy. This was least true for mothers, but most true for men and women without children.
In the process, even the culture you grow up in can determine what makes you happy[5]. Perhaps as a woman from a more traditional culture, you just really become much happier being a full-time mother than if you are a woman growing up in an environment where everyone works.
Start by making yourself happy
Of course, sometimes it's hard to make other people happy when you're not yet happy yourself, even though scientists say it helps.
Do you feel that your depressing mood is making it hard for you to help someone else make that person happy? Then, of course, you may always start by making yourself happier.
Now anything can get in the way of making yourself happy first, before you can make someone else happy.
For example, you may have subconscious beliefs about whether or not you deserve to be happy. If you think you don’t deserve it, it’s naturally very difficult to make yourself happy in the first place.
In that case, hypnotherapy can help you break such a block to happiness and making others happy.
For example, certain memories can influence how happy you are, but since memories are thoughts that you can also interpret differently, you can make yourself happier by reexamining those memories.
This is something hypnotherapy can help you with. For example, with regression, you can go back to a moment that gave rise to a negative belief. You then revisit the memory of that moment and also examine the interpretation of that memory that you’ve always held.
With your current knowledge about life and how people can do things, is it still relevant or can you see other things in it now that you didn't realize at the time?
This alone can cause the memory that prevents you from being happy to be changed to the point where you can allow yourself to be happy.
In addition, hypnosis can also help you focus more on what is going well instead of what is not going well.
For example, by starting your day with self-hypnosis and repeating affirmations. These can be affirmations such as:
"Everything always works out."
"Every weather is beautiful weather."
"Fun things are happening in my life."
These kinds of affirmations then cause you to recognize the little nice things in your life faster than if you didn't repeat them. Still, something to be happy about.
And then you can use the go-first principle to make other people happy, too.
It could always be worse
In addition, research shows that Danes are often among the happiest people in the world. Do you know how this is possible? Danes often expect bad things to happen and yet every year it turns out to be not so bad[6].
Now, it's not always helpful to assume the worst, but then things often don't turn out so bad and that makes you happy.
You can also use this to make other people happier. You first descend to their level and then can say, for example, in a funny tone, "But you're not homeless and the weather is nice." In this way, to slowly move to the more positive emotion of being happy.
In addition, you can find out what makes people happy, for example, reading books, eating, clothing, doing something together or hiking. It doesn't matter. If you know what they like, you can surprise them with that to make them happier.
Do you need help making yourself or others happy? Then knowledge of hypnosis can be incredibly helpful.
Join the free online masterclass if you’d like to learn more about hypnosis.
Want to see even more of what hypnosis can do besides making people happier? Then come to a hypnosis seminar and watch the hypnotherapy demonstrations.
Would you like to get started right away with hypnosis techniques to help yourself and others? Then sign up for one of our training courses.
Also pin this handy infographic as a reminder:
Sources:
[1] https://mospace.umsystem.edu/xmlui/handle/10355/65425
[2] https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0018344
[3] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563217300833
[4] https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Christian_Kroll/publication/225387250_Different_Things_Make_Different_People_Happy_Examining_Social_Capital_and_Subjective_Well-Being_by_Gender_and_Parental_Status/links/54b41c190cf28ebe92e453c9.pdf
[5] https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1207/s15327965pli1604_04?journalCode=hpli20
[6] https://selfsustain.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/shenkjw_2009_what_makes_us_happy_the_atlantic.pdf ( p. 12)