The time of good intentions is upon us again. Everyone starts again with hope, and some people manage to achieve their resolutions. Success, it's something everyone seems to want, but sometimes there's just something inside you that makes you think it would be really scary if success were to happen. Do you often have your resolution within reach, but then do something that causes you to fail. Do you get anxiety the moment you think your resolution will succeed this year? Then you may suffer from fear of success.
In this blog, I address that fear and what you can do about it.
What is fear of success?
So when you have a fear of success, you are afraid of actually achieving your goals. What if you suddenly do get that promotion? What if you suddenly do have your dream figure? What if you suddenly do win the lottery? What if there's nothing left to fight for?
The most famous story of someone who had a fear of success is about Hannibal who invaded the Roman Empire in 218 BC. He had multiple opportunities to conquer even Rome, but never did[1]. Fear of success is something that can happen to the best of us.
With fear of success, then, you become fearful of the consequences that success can have. Those consequences are something you judge for yourself. Therefore, this fear depends on your beliefs about the consequences of success. Perhaps you fear that when you make more money, people will start asking for money from you and you don't actually want to give them money. Instead of being successful and having to sell "no," you then prefer to go and sabotage that promotion so that you don't get it and continue to function at the same level.
How does fear of success arise?
Fear of success can come from many factors. For example, your parents have a big influence. The culture you live in and what gender you are then, your age and your beliefs about how the world works.
Fear of success and your parents
Fear of success can arise when you actually have an unhealthy relationship with your parents. This is because as you grow up, you gain more and more independence. At some point, you can tie your own laces and before your parents know it, you are earning your own living.
Some parents actually don't like this at all. They worry about their own success and that their child is surpassing this level.
Another reason parents sometimes cause anxiety about success is because they want their child to remain dependent on them so that they will continue to live close by.
In either case, parents can react very strangely when their child achieves a success, such as getting your first side job. This causes you to be punished for success, so to speak, and because this happens while you are growing up during the period when you are creating your beliefs, this can cause you to link success with a negative consequence, such as that your family will then no longer love you.
Fear of success and your age
Research shows that fear of success does not really exist at a younger age, and if it does exist that boys and girls suffer from it equally on average[2]. It is more common to develop fear of success as you get older than to have it at a young age.
Part of the reason for this is the experiences you can have when you achieve success, such as the loss of friends and/or family who do not grant it to you. Another explanation is the culture you live in because it is also important to the beliefs you have about success and what it means to you.
Fear of success and your culture/sex
Women generally suffer more from fear of success than men. This is because in most cultures women are taught to be modest and not to brag about your accomplishments. You have a caring role and being a power bitch (the term alone says it all) is not something that is valued. The fear of success, as being called a bitch, is something that stops women from also achieving success at least on a business level.
This fear is not entirely unfounded, as research shows that women who do not behave according to their gender stereotype are less likely to receive a promotion or even a pay raise, in the process they are also less liked. So the fact that women should behave more like men for more pay does not help at all. In fact, showing and reminding people of their strengths does help for getting that pay raise or promotion.
What you think is acceptable behavior for a woman can cause you to have anxiety about success. For example, when you think your husband should earn more than you. Or if you think it is bad to work full-time, when secretly that is something you want to do. In the Netherlands, schoolyard mothers can make you feel that you are doing the wrong thing when you work full-time as a mother and therefore don't have time to lend a hand at elementary school.
Stop fear of success with hypnosis
Now you may be thinking, how can hypnosis help with these problems when they are so big? Hypnosis is a technique that allows you to influence your subconscious. In your subconscious are all the beliefs that block you from doing something that makes you successful. That's where the beliefs are that create the fear of success. It doesn't matter if they were created by your parents, by certain life experiences or by the culture you live in.
Uncovering Unknown Cause
Have no idea why you're actually afraid of being successful? Then a hypnosis expert can help you through regression. With this technique, you go back to the moment when you subconsciously determined that success is something to be afraid of.
These are often moments from childhood, because this is when you form your beliefs about life. As a result, you can have very illogical beliefs. With your adult knowledge, you may view the situation that caused the fear very differently than you did as a child. Because of this, the fear can be overcome by regression alone.
Practice behaviors that make you successful
As mentioned, you don't have to act like a man as a woman, for example, to get success. Still, getting a promotion an sich can be something that makes you anxious when you could well use the extra money. So in that case, you need to remind your boss or manager about the good quality of your work and what you have accomplished. Doing this can be something very scary.
Hypnosis can help you get rid of anxiety by teaching you how to stay calm at such times. This is done with guided visualization.
During such a visualization, you imagine yourself doing what you need to do to achieve success. By imagining this, you are already experiencing anxiety, such as the tension in your body and speeding up your breathing.
While engaged in guided visualization, you then practice how to regain control of your body and anxiety to still achieve the success you are so afraid of. By imagining with guidance how to do something successfully, you are more likely to actually do it.
Hypnotic suggestions against fear of success
Hypnotic suggestions are also a popular technique for overcoming fears of success. Because beliefs have a lot of influence on this anxiety, hypnotic suggestions are used to dispel those unhealthy beliefs. Especially since you can also repeat or listen to these suggestions at home during self-hypnosis, this can be very effective. The suggestions you receive depend on the beliefs you have about the consequences of success. For example, you may be given the following suggestions:
"Your true friends grant you your success."
"Success says nothing about you as a woman/man."
"Success creates greater security."
"People get inspired by successful people."
These are just suggestions as examples. Depending on your beliefs about success and its consequences, a hypnosis expert may give you other suggestions.
So fear of success can have many causes, but overcoming it can be quite easy with hypnosis. Fears are sometimes overcome even in 1 hypnosis session and sometimes you need a little more. Those sessions include the use of the techniques mentioned above.
Want to learn more about how hypnosis can help you overcome fears? Then come to a hypnosis playshop or check out the Hypnosis Institute Netherlands' training programs.
[1] https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-319-45162-6_23
[2] https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01884/full
