Being completely free and therefore truly being yourself

Being free, just being able to shamelessly be yourself. This may not be so useful in some contexts, but in others I think it is. For example, I sit and watch Hans Teeuwen and I really get the idea that he is incredibly free

He does anything, he says anything, he steps up to people and does anything with them. This is all in the context of cabaret, of course, and there the rules are nice and broad. If you do this on the street, it's all less convenient anyway.

A lot could be, but even then you can see if this is convenient and if you would want it at all.

We are our own limiter

But what if you want to do it, yet don’t dare —or feel like you’re not allowed to? That’s actually kind of strange. That you think, “Why shouldn’t I do it?”

If you look at the Netherlands, you can say that we are free compared to other countries in the world. There it is a lot more limited. North Korea, for example, is very restricted, but with some freer countries, the possibilities are limited.

Of course, there are always things you can whine about, but in general you can say we are fairly free. Of course, things could be better.

Compared to most people in the world, we are relatively wealthy and happy. That gives us the luxury of complaining about all sorts of things that most people can’t complain about, because they have to work their butts off.

We don't need as many, of course there are those in the Netherlands too, but that's nothing compared to the people in other countries who walk around collecting bottles at the dump because otherwise you won't have anything to eat at the end of the day.

Compared to that, we just have it better. It's as simple as that.

Then again, we have a certain restriction of rules in our heads. Of what can and cannot be done. Your educators have given you all kinds of rules about how you are supposed to behave.

• At home, you act like this and like that.
• On the street, you act like this and like that.
• On visits, you behave this way and that.
• At work, this is how you're supposed to behave.

All rules. You may wonder if those rules in your head are justified and if they still fit who you want to be.

For example, I myself have become much freer on stage than I was ten years ago, really much more so.

But then I look at Hans Teeuwen and think, "It could be even freer and even more shameless on stage."

This did get me thinking. Where else am I limiting myself? What can I do and what can't I do?

These rules are not mine. As a child, you do all sorts of things, shamelessly. You don't do that now, and that's fine with some things. It is true that certain rules may not be so convenient.

Like you don't just walk up to someone or offer your product. You don't make a video for social media without makeup, because what will others think?

But it’s not your responsibility what people think or how they feel about you. It really doesn’t matter what you do.

What others are saying and being yourself

Someone once told me that I’d never be successful because of my accent. I don’t see that person around anymore. But back then, I did think that maybe I should speak more standard Dutch (ABN) or that I should be “more normal” or something like that.

Still, I'm glad I didn't, because then you can get one of those Danny de Munk effects. First you speak Amsterdam flat, then in the musical you speak ABN and then you become a folk singer. Then you have to go back to flat Amsterdam and that doesn't work well.

Then it's helpful to first ask yourself what you would have preferred, but good.

People everywhere are thinking something of you, but the nice thing is, the more you are yourself the more people you attract. If you just use your words, which may be offensive to some people. If that's just your vernacular, why change it for an audience?

If you also talk like that at home to your wife, children and friends, why change it? And people are going to drop out. People can't watch it.

There are also people who hook on precisely when you are yourself. They just think your accent is cool or something.

Of course, you can customize things. Get better at certain things, content, knowledge and how to present yourself better. You can improve things, but changing things completely because other people think so, you have to think about that. So whether you want to and whether it is really necessary.

I have found that people hook on me precisely because I am the way I am and because I magnify myself - so to speak.

So I realize more and more that the combination of factors that make me unique, and on which people turn on or off are important.

You, too, have qualities that make you who you are. These can be anything. Some people might criticize them, but is that criticism justified?

For example, if you have a soft voice, which does not stem from insecurity, but you just have a soft voice. Then that's an advantage. If you're very small, that's an advantage. If you're very tall, that's an advantage and you have to exploit that. For example, I exploit my accent.

You are your own power

I got that from Milton Ericksson. Who was in a wheelchair and said about it, "The fact that I am in a wheelchair, that I am half paralyzed, color blind and tone deaf, because of that I have a tremendous advantage over all the others who are not and who don't have that."

Because people didn't understand him very well. Then they would move closer and ask, "What are you saying?" And then boom, he had them in hypnosis.

Everything has its benefits.

Anything that makes you distinct or different should be exploited instead.

You can become better than someone, but that doesn't make anyone else better. That's very difficult and also doesn't really stand out.

Being different does stand out. Hans Teeuwen stands out because he is different. Does by have better jokes or songs? Not necessarily, but different he certainly is. He is different from most comedians.

Every comedian you like is different from the rest.

When they start copying, they become less fun. They can still be fun, but then you still think, "Yeah, I already know this from someone else."

That’s how it is with performing and with being a coach —when you’re different. By simply being yourself, you get much more of what you want.

You actually get less if you start imitating people.

So take advantage of this.

Also listen to this podcast

https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/1311259-wanneer-je-echt-jezelf-bent-dan-gebeurt-het

But how does this work at my work?

You may be thinking right now, "Yes, I can be myself." But do you still find this exciting to do when you're at work? Researchers also indicate that there are advantages and disadvantages to being authentic at work[1].

The power of positivity is also not to be underestimated. In an experiment in which you were asked to do your best to portray a positive image of yourself and another group was not asked to do so, it was found that people liked the "positivity" group more and liked them more immediately. But what was very odd was that the image people got from the positives was more accurate than the image people got from people who did not[2].

So above all, put your best foot forward, even at work, because then people will just really know better what they can do with you.

Do you find it difficult to look positively at your own unique qualities? Then hypnosis can help you figure out why you find this so difficult. This can be done with several techniques. For example, after you have been brought into hypnosis, you can have a socratic conversation with the hypnotherapist. The hypnotherapist will then ask a number of times a why question or a variation of this question to get to your deepest conviction as to why you find it difficult to be yourself.

Then you have all kinds of techniques to make such a belief less powerful. For example, you can check how logical that belief is, and if it doesn't make sense, you can ridicule it. This goes ridiculously well when you are in hypnosis 😉 .

Being yourself then becomes ridiculously easy.

Want to know how hypnosis works? Then come to a hypnosis workshop. The workshops are held in Wormerveer and Zwolle.

Would you like to see how hypnosis can help someone be more themselves or how it can solve other problems? Then come to a hypnosis seminar, where you’ll see demonstrations of hypnotherapy, among other things.

Want to learn hypnosis yourself to help others or yourself directly to be themselves? Then enroll in one of our training courses. Training courses are held in Wormerveer, Zwolle and online.

[1] https://journals.aom.org/doi/abs/10.5465/annals.2016.0108

[2] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550611407689