Everyone is unique and yet we don't always all look unique. In fact, in our adolescence we learn 2 things. We want to belong and we want to be seen as a unique human being. Depending on how that turns out, later in life we dare to be unique or, on the contrary, we try desperately hard not to stand out and belong.
Wanting to belong
When you develop you want to belong first. You want (especially as an adolescent) your own kind of tribe with whom you can get along. This is very normal. Ultimately, we are social animals and sometimes need the help or cooperation of others to survive.
This is why teenagers often dress the same. To show that they are part of a certain group.
In further development comes the need to still be able to be your own person within that group. You want to have unique factors. You also want to be able to differentiate yourself from the people you interact with. You want to be able to collaborate with people and still be your own person[1].
Indeed, belonging has all kinds of benefits, such as confirmation of your beliefs, emotional safety, empathy, help, and you then have social influence[2].
Benefits of being unique
This does not mean that there are disadvantages to being unique. In fact, uniqueness also has its advantages.
Research shows that seeing yourself as unique has the advantage of being faster at making decisions that are important to yourself[3].
When you feel that you are unique, or at least different from other people, it creates a better identity and self-confidence. You get more attention from people around you and it increases your social status[4].
Finding balance in being unique and belonging
The desire to be unique and to belong is always something paradoxical and conflicting. For where is the boundary of belonging and uniqueness that makes you happy? Being too much part of the crowd and being the same as other people makes people unhappy, but being too unique also makes people unhappy. So it is important to find a healthy balance in that.
Factors that contribute to wanting to be unique
There are a number of reasons why people want to be unique. These are:
- Women with distinct first names.
- Women who have a brother or brother with almost the same age.
- When you are the oldest child.
- When you are an only child.
- You are children of parents of different religions[5].
- You come from an environment where freedom is encouraged.
- You come from an environment that rewards independence[6].
Ways to make yourself unique
How unique you are actually depends on your beliefs about what you consider "normal." Research does show that if you think you are too similar to other people you can reduce this feeling by listing your unique sides. By remembering moments or things about yourself that are unique about you.
People who want to reinforce their uniqueness often do so by expressing an unpopular opinion. Using everyday products in a non-mundane way. In doing so, they find unique experiences and messages (in the communication of the word) more important.
There are many things you can take advantage of to make yourself unique, namely:
- Your opinion.
- Your creative skills.
- Personality traits.
- Moral.
- Experiences.
- Group of people you identify with.
- Products you buy.
- Your signature[7].
If you are in the process of making yourself more unique, you can look at these items to see which ones you can use to bring out your uniqueness.
For example, people with creative skills make themselves unique because they can draw, make music, sculpt or do anything else with art above average. This indeed gets them attention and admiration.
When it comes to your morals, you can make yourself unique by having very low morals. For example, this is something porn people do (if you look at what many people would do precisely not). Or by having very high morals, this can be seen, for example, in survivalists like Bear Gryllis, who don't let a day of not eating throw them off track. Or politicians, who should at least have high morals.
Experiences can also make you unique. For example, adrenaline junkies get a lot of admiration for the stunts they perform, but the downside is that those stunts often put them at a higher risk of early death. Travel is then a more useful experience to make yourself unique.
The group of people you identify with seems a bit separate to show your uniqueness. What is meant by this is that you make yourself part of a minority in the larger society. In high school, for example, these used to be called alternative people. Now it's the hipsters. Or the social justice warriors who make themselves unique by wanting to be so.
Products you buy can also make you unique. Just look at how people react when you don't have a television in your living room, but rather a projector. That at once makes you unique to the people you interact with. Or look at the effect of wearing different clothes.
Your signature does not show everywhere, but it is used by many people to enhance uniqueness.
Hypnosis helps you increase your uniqueness
Now that you know why being unique is sometimes necessary, what factors can contribute to it and what you can use to show your uniqueness to the world, it is important to take the step to be unique(er).
Hypnosis can help you remove issues that block you from being your own unique self. With regression, for example, you can find out why you have always felt it was so important to belong until now and why being unique is so scary for you, even though you very much want to.
With regression, you go back to the moment when your subconscious formed the belief that you especially needed to belong to a group. By looking at that moment with your current knowledge and visualizing under hypnosis how to handle this moment differently, the belief blocking you can easily go away.
Strengthen beliefs that encourage you
In addition, hypnosis can reinforce beliefs that encourage you to be unique. This can be done, for example, by repeating hypnotic suggestions while under hypnosis. Because of the hypnotic state, you absorb these beliefs faster and deeper than if you were repeating them now in front of your PC screen. These can be suggestions such as:
"Showing my talents is rewarded."
"I get to go on vacation to places no one else goes."
"It's good to be independent."
"I get to wear the clothes I like, even if no one else wears them."
"I get to interact with people who are just a little bit different."
"I may have an ugly signature."
These are just examples of hypnotic suggestions. Depending on your beliefs about being unique, you may receive other suggestions from the hypnosis specialist while under hypnosis. These are often also given to you to take home on an mp3 to repeat during self-hypnosis.
Visualizing your uniqueness
If you find it exciting to express your uniqueness, hypnosis can also help you with a guided visualization. In that visualization, you see, feel, smell and hear what it's like to experience and show your unique side to those around you. Through this positive experience, it suddenly becomes a lot less scary to show your morals of not drinking. It suddenly becomes a lot easier to put on those fun crazy clothes that are always hanging in your closet, but that you are afraid to show because of uniqueness. Visualization encourages you to behave uniquely(er).
Increasing uniqueness can be done in many ways and can even be done without losing touch with those around you. When being unique, it is good to find a balance between belonging and your uniqueness. After all, you still need to be able to function in society. Hypnosis can help you show your uniqueness in several ways.
Want to learn more about how hypnosis works and what you can achieve with it? Then come to a hypnosis playshop, or enroll in one of our trainings right away. Ask about online options if that suits you better.
[1] https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1978-22223-001
[2] Handbook of Positive Psychology (2002) edited by C. R. Snyder, Shane J. Lopez, page 395
[3] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-6494.1993.tb00280.x
[4] Handbook of Positive Psychology (2002) edited by C. R. Snyder, Shane J. Lopez, page 395
[5] Handbook of Positive Psychology (2002) edited by C. R. Snyder, Shane J. Lopez, page 397
[6] Handbook of Positive Psychology (2002) edited by C. R. Snyder, Shane J. Lopez, page 398
[7] Handbook of Positive Psychology (2002) edited by C. R. Snyder, Shane J. Lopez, page 398
