Anger and aggression out of nowhere? Mindfulness works!
Anger out of nowhere: recognizable in yourself or another person? The innocent version is the well-known "short fuse" that causes you to react thoughtlessly and aggressively. It becomes worrisome when anger emerges in someone like a volcanic eruption. Now suppressing emotions is the last thing we encourage, but there is a certain powerlessness underneath that may be looked at. Mindfulness can help reduce aggression and faulty beliefs.
Mindfulness against anger and aggression
Flight Mode
There is a cause hidden behind every form of aggression. It is either a fight, flight or freeze reaction and can arise when there is "danger" or stress. In an outburst of anger, the person often acts with a fight response, flight mode. In young children this reaction is still totally underdeveloped and they learn to use it when faced with stress, fear or actual danger. As an adult, you have learned in the meantime that not every stressful situation is worth fighting, that danger does not lurk in every dark corner, and that you can weigh your response before you act.
In some cases, this development has been disturbed, for example by parental neglect, trauma (such as war) or a time when you were thus totally powerless and unprotected by the people who were supposed to care for you. Because of the disturbed past, as an adult you may come out impulsive and overreact relative to the situation. A false worldview has been created in which the environment is seen as a constant source of danger. Adults with this problem often blame someone else; their partner, children, the government, people from a different background, neighbors, etc. If these traumas are not treated, the adult can turn into a danger to those around them.
Plasticity of the brain
Fortunately, it is never too late to learn different behaviors, as our brains are incredibly plastic. This allows us to adapt. This is incredibly important for our survival. Not only when you grow up can you learn new things, even as an adult this is possible: you can transform and change yourself. The part that determines how you respond to stress and danger can change even in a period of weeks, if you put effort into it. Most "Mindfulness" courses last 8 weeks. No one course is like a pressure cooker for growth; you will not notice results until you say 100% 'yes' to your new you and your learning even after the course and in your home environment. Once you do this, something very special happens: training reduces the part of the brain that deals with the flight, fight, freeze response and it becomes less active in the face of new danger. The part of the brain that is important for learning new things and regulating emotions actually becomes larger or at least more active through mindfulness.
Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is violence committed by a partner, ex-partner, family member, friend or girlfriend. This can be physical, sexual and emotional violence. Most people have the idea that domestic violence is primarily perpetrated by men. Unfortunately, women are just as likely to be perpetrators of it. If children are victimized or exposed to this, if only by seeing it, they may develop the same pattern as adults. Because violence can lead to much misery - no matter what gender you are - it is necessary to do something against aggression. Research has been done on both genders to see if mindfulness can help reduce aggression. In a study in which 14 women participated while battling alcohol abuse and aggression, it was found that 93% used less alcohol and became less aggressive after training mindfulness.
Color body scan
With the color body scan, there is a slight difference from the normal body scan. While meditating, you can also visualize being bathed in a particular color that suits your healing process. For example, blue is the color of relaxation, green is the color of healing, purple is the color of releasing emotions and thoughts. Orange is the color of happiness, fun and enjoyment, red is the color of energy and vitality, pink (or violet) is the color of self-respect and dignity, yellow is the color of learning and concentration. Depending on what you are struggling with, you can visualize yourself bathing in a particular color and taking in the energy of that color, like healing with a green color, with each breath.
Mindfulness meditation
Mindfulness meditation in this case involves becoming aware of your emotions and thoughts. At the beginning of the mindfulness modification therapy, they do this mainly with neutral emotions, but as the subjects progress in their mindfulness, they also do this with more intense emotions so that the participants could experience that there are more ways than reacting with aggression.
SOBER breathing
The next step is breathing using the SOBER method: when faced with a threatening situation, you first stop to avoid automatically reacting with the familiar response. This can be very challenging and is also an exercise done only after the mindfulness meditation. Participants observe what happens in their bodies and with their emotions, a kind of mini body scan. Then they focus on their breathing (breath), shifting their attention (extend) to their body and the situation around them. Then a conscious choice is made in how to react in a way that is appropriate to the situation and to taking good care of yourself rather than an impulsive reaction that you regret.
Mindfulness during fun moments
Because not all of life has to be all about doom and gloom and therapy, we also ask participants to practice mindfulness during private activities they enjoy; such as sports, an outing with the family, while going out or something similar. By being completely with your thoughts on that experience, aggression has less of a chance to develop out of nowhere.
Reducing rumination with mindfulness
Another study shows that rumination (being in your head, grinding) can lead to aggression. While ruminating, you are thinking long and repeatedly about personal problems and the emotions involved: you get into a loop. Unfortunately, this does not contribute to a solution and can encourage aggression. Mindfulness can reduce rumination and thus indirectly reduce aggression.
Want to learn more about how to use mindfulness to regulate emotions like anger? Then come to a seminar or check out Hypnosis Institute Netherlands' trainings.