Addicted to dating: What to do when you can't stop partying?

Edwin Selij
December 22, 2017

Going out; it's something everyone has done at one time or another. Dancing late into the night, drinking, requesting music (or putting it on yourself), eating good food and having a great chat with a flirt every now and then. Going out is just super fun to do and it is very normal to go out every weekend, especially when you are still under 30, but when you use every excuse to go out and go out not just on Fridays or Saturdays but at least on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and preferably Sundays as well if there is the possibility to do so, there may be more to it.

Worried that you are addicted to going out? Then continue reading this blog to see what you can do about it.

Going out is a lot of fun, but it can also be used as an excuse to cover up other addictions that people around you might consider more serious. For example, do you enjoy using a party drug such as ecstasy, cocaine, MDMA, or something else when you go out? If so, you might want to consider whether that’s actually the addiction you’re dealing with.

Another addiction that can be masked by always drinking when you go out and never when you’re alone—because then you’re addicted—is alcohol. In Russia, alcohol addiction is a major problem. That’s why people there have a rule that you should never drink alone. Unfortunately, this can allow a group of addicts to keep their addiction under control.

So check for yourself if going out hasn't become a cover for you for something else.

Try going out without drinking or taking drugs, if you then leave earlier than usual and have very little fun with it, this may still be a time to scratch your head behind the ears.

Everything is an excuse to go out

Notice that you also don't shy away from any excuse to stop partying? For example, you're sick, but alcohol kills bacteria and helps you get well again.

Actually, you have to work early the next day, but the party will surely give you inspiration to do your job even better.

When truly everything has become an excuse to go out, you can certainly count on going out becoming a real addiction.

Addicted to dating, what to do

Have you tried this once or do you drink at all often while going out? Then you may still be addicted to going out; there are several possible causes for this addiction:

An addiction to dating may not have the same cause for everyone, but finding that cause can be an important step in stopping partying for leading a normal life.

Perhaps you can find out for yourself why you party so much in the first place and if there is something going on other than how much fun partying is.

Finding it difficult to check this out for yourself? Then a hypnotherapist can help you with this. There are several techniques that can be used to figure out why you can't stop partying.

  • Socratic conversation
  • Regression

With socratic conversation, the "why" question is repeated a number of times. For example: Hypnotist: "Why do you go out so much?"

Party addict: "Because it's fun."

Hypnotist: "Why do you like it?"

Party addict: "Because it gets me among people."

Hypnotist: "Why?"

Party addict: "Because I'm alone at home."

Hypnotist: "Why?"

Party addict: "Because I don't have friends coming to my house."

Hypnotist: "Why?"

Party addict: "Because I don't have any real friends I want to invite."

In this example, you can see that with such a why conversation, you can find out that the actual cause for the party behavior is loneliness (in this example, that is).

Then you can take steps to solve that loneliness in ways other than partying. For example, by joining a walking club in your neighborhood, playing sports in a club and the like.

Through regression, you go back to a memory or event in your life that led you to form a belief causing you to keep going out. Because you do this under hypnosis, the hypnotherapist can help you view that event with greater emotional distance.

This can also help you develop different beliefs and gain insights that make it easier to let go of the belief that makes you a party animal.

Finding out beliefs about going out

Regression is important to identify beliefs about going out. In fact, this is the first step toward changing those beliefs and taking steps to stop going out.

Getting those new beliefs is something a hypnotherapist can help you with. He can use several techniques for this, including hypnotic suggestions, visualizations and post-hypnotic suggestions.

For example, a post hypnotic suggestion ensures that if you use a bad excuse for going out, you will feel very bad which then causes you to do something other than go out anyway.

The visualizations aim to show you that there are other ways to solve the problem you are currently solving with going out.

Hypnotic suggestions are used by a hypnotherapist to strengthen new beliefs and weaken "old" unhealthy ones.

Practical tips for quitting

In addition, hypnosis can also help you take practical steps to stop dating.

Tip #1: Find a hobby that doesn't require you to go out.

Dancing is something many people do while going out, but you can also join a dance club or group. Ballroom dancing, freestyle dancing it's all possible.

If you have fears that you are not good enough to join such a dance association, a hypnotherapist can help you improve your confidence, to go there anyway. Do you happen to have friends with whom you often go out and who also like dancing? Ask them if they would also like to join, for ballroom dancing it is always convenient to bring a partner.

You can also gain more depth in your life through other hobbies such as photography or painting. Who knows, you might even get an exhibition and now that's a good reason for a celebration.

Tip #2: Help other people

One of the easiest and most enjoyable ways to feel good about yourself is by helping others. This also helps you develop new social skills that can benefit you in your daily life.

In the process, this can rival the feeling of a good party, even if you get this good feeling for a totally different reason.

If you are like "who am I to help other people?" then your hypnotherapist can help you find your talents and what you enjoy doing for other people. The great thing about volunteering is that people are often happy that someone is willing to lend a helping hand at all for nothing.

Tip 3: Visualize yourself how you would like to be

Addiction is often also an expression of frustration with yourself. You are not something and are trying to cover it up or fix it with an addiction. Visualizing yourself how you want to be gives you a better idea of the goal you are striving for.

Then you can take steps to actually achieve this image.

Do you find it difficult to visualize yourself? Then a hypnotherapist can help you with that. Blockages that hold you back from getting the best out of yourself can also be identified for you by a hypnotherapist, and then together you can still find the ideal image.

Tip 4: Let go

Okay we just talked about the ideal image and then knowing what steps to take to achieve it. At the same time, achieving a goal is not something that goes in a straight line. You are not always in control of things that happen in your life.

These types of events can cause you to go out again, with all the frustrating feelings afterwards. By letting go of your goal and walking toward it instead of sprinting, you have more space to think things through and take a detour.

It is ultimately easier to avoid a puddle of water while walking than while running.

Mindfulness can help well to be loving in those moments when you did step in that puddle and to let go of the need for everything to be perfect.

Would you like to learn more about mental techniques and hypnosis? Then come to a workshop and check out the courses offered by the Hypnosis Institute of the Netherlands.

Sources:

https://www.vice.com/da/article/3bjwyb/how-i-learned-to-stop-drinking-in-my-twenties-and-start-actually-caring-about-life-282

https://drugfree.org/parent-blog/from-party-girl-to-plugged-in- my-journey-through-addiction-to-recovery/