Touch: Why touching each other is important

Touch means being touched or touching other people, in this case physically. So holding hands, giving someone a tap or pat on the shoulder, stroking and hugging are all touching.

Being touched is important to humans, we are social animals and just like monkeys fleecing each other, touching is also important to humans. This plays a role in your life in multiple ways.

Touch and your development

You’re born, and suddenly all kinds of people are touching you—your mother, your father, your brothers and sisters, your uncles and aunts, and your grandparents. Being touched by your family, for example, is important for building a bond with them. It’s good, for instance, to form an emotional attachment to your parents[1].

Then again, if you are very old and may even suffer from Alzheimer's, touch is also important again. Nurses even teach touch therapy to help people with Alzheimer's[2].

Touch in your daily life

In your daily life, touch can also be used to make sure you do something. This can be very subtle, but you may have noticed that when someone kindly touches you you feel more for that person for this or that when you kindly touch someone they are more likely to do something you want[3].

For example, your child clearing the room because you gave him/her a hug or sweet squeeze on the shoulder first.

Touch is also used to improve bonds in adulthood. For example, this helps you feel that you " belong" when it comes to a certain group of people. Or it can improve your romantic relationship .

Holding hands, petting and hugging can signal love to the outside world, but it can also be used to express support to each other. This can even be good for living longer[4].

Building bonds can go with subtle touches that you barely remember and with very clear touches that you actually remember very well.

Touch can even make emotion clear, just as facial expression and the way you speak do (source 3). Consider, for example, giving a hug to someone you sympathize with when they are going through a tough period in their life.

For example, touch can lower your blood pressure, heart rate, and cortisol levels (the stress hormone) while increasing your production of oxytocin (the “cuddle hormone”)[5]. In addition, it can also lead to better sleep and a reduction in your overall inflammation levels[6].

Massage can even help reduce pain and depression. It provides more attentiveness and an improved immune system with more natural killer cells (source 5).

Touch and its meaning

It is mainly the meaning of touch that can have a calming effect on the recipient (source 4).

But it can also be uncomfortable if, for example, someone wants to force his/her way on you by subtly touching you. So if you as the recipient think the touch means something negative then the touch is no longer enjoyable.

For example, if you are tenderly touched by someone you hate, you don't like it even though you can rationally think somewhere that the touch itself could have been nice (if only someone else did).

So how much you like the touch depends in part on the context. Usually it is perceived as nice if the intention of the toucher and the interpretation of the receiver are the same. (Except in the case of a fight)

In the hospital, a touch by a nurse that is very functional can therefore be perceived as pleasant and sometimes even as emotional support for the patient.

In addition, the temperature, strength, duration and texture of the touch is also important to how much you like it. Cold hands, for example, are not nice. Slapping is not nice, but petting is. A lot of pressure, as in a massage, can again be nice, but that is prolonged force rather than short-term force as in slapping. Even with hitting, how much you like it depends on the context. For example, if your partner gives you a pat on the butt, you may like that as confirmation that he/she finds you sexy.

For example, if you scrub yourself with a coarse glove, that can be very nice, but at the same time, that texture of that glove is not nice if your shirt were made of it. In the 1930s, for example, clothing manufacturers figured out that fabric that felt fine on the skin made for more sales. Very logical in itself, but by then they had "officially" researched it (source 4).

Your experiences with touch have an effect

Previous experiences with touch also affect the meaning you give touch and how much you like it. For example, people who are not touched much find touch less pleasant than people who receive a normal amount of touch despite thinking beforehand that they look positively upon a particular touch.

But touch can also trigger certain memories. So it also depends a bit on your experience with a particular touch (source 4). That memories have an effect on how you interpret a touch is also used in anchoring emotions. More on that later in this blog.

Touch in therapy

Since memories can have a lot of impact on how you experience touch, it is especially important for people who have been victims of sexual abuse to make touch enjoyable again.

Therefore, dance and touch therapy can be recommended for people who have suffered from it, so that you can regain a normal relationship with your own body and, when touched, not have to think about what once happened every time[7].

The role of touch in hypnotherapy

In hypnotherapy, touch also plays a role. For example, it can be used in inducing hypnosis by making a quick change in your client's balance (without pushing them over), allowing them to be brought into hypnosis quickly.

In addition, touch may also be necessary to keep someone standing. For example, if you hypnotize someone while they are standing and they go deep into hypnosis you can tell by the gentle wobbling of the body. But then if you as a therapist feel that the person may be close to falling over, touching the shoulder can cause the person to stop wobbling and thus not risk falling over.

As a therapist, though, it is important to explain why you are touching someone. For example, you can explain during induction or while deepening hypnosis that you are going to touch your client so that they remain properly erect.

Touch and anchor

So in addition, touch can also be used to anchor certain thoughts or feelings. You then also explain that you are touching the person for positive suggestions and give the post-hypnotic suggestion that if he/she touches him/herself there in the future he/she will immediately bring up this positive feeling again.

This can help, for example, when people have anxiety about giving presentations. Then you can anchor the feeling of confidence , so to speak, by touching the wrist. If the person then briefly touches their wrist during the presentation or something else that is then convenient and subtle, they can then generate the feeling of self-confidence that makes giving the presentation easier.

For example, you can use NLP to eliminate fears and replace them with something positive. Through touch, you then anchor the new “programming” of thoughts related to what your client is afraid of[8].

NLP techniques are also commonly used during hypnotherapy and play an important role in HIN training.

So touch always plays an important role in your life. It is important for bonding with those around you, whether this is bonding with your family or even bonding with colleagues at the company where you work. It helps your sense of well-being and to live longer.

Your experiences with touch affect your interpretation on touch and this can have far-reaching consequences.

Fortunately, clarity about what a touch means or how it is intended can make you feel comfortable with a touch, which is especially helpful in the medical field or when using touch in therapy.

Touch also plays an important role during hypnotherapy, as in inducing hypnosis and actually treating a client's problem.

Would you like to learn more about how hypnosis works and how you can use it to help others? Then join the free online masterclass on hypnosis.

Or sign up right away for one of our courses so you can learn how to use touch to help yourself and those around you get the most out of life.

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