Parenting is the process by which a person - usually a child - is shaped according to the norms and values of his or her educator(s) and thus usually according to the main norms and values of the society in which he or she lives.
Thus the Wikipedia
And I thought, yes there we go. This is exactly the hypnosis I'm talking about. Installing norms and values of family and society. The black and white values of society and the black and white thinking of the family.
So this is how children lose their color. Through parenting.
Not that the educators can do anything about it in that moment. Those are also educated and those again and those again. Here's how it goes.
But it's interesting don't you think? We want our child to belong, of course. To get along with everyone else. Adapt to the environment. I mean, if you're the misfit, you often do have a challenge. Not everyone, but most kids find that difficult.
So adapt. And we as parents encourage that too. We didn't want to be bullied either, we also wanted to belong, because exclusion is one of the worst pains.
The worst punishment is being ignored by everyone. That you are ostracized, ostracized. Just look at animals when that happens. Terrible. You want to avoid that at all costs, and if you have to sacrifice color for that? Fine.
Do you want your children to feel comfortable? Sure. That they can come along? Sure. That they have friends? Preferably so.
Then you pay a price for that. And that's the color of those children.
Anyway, what then.
You can hardly do it right. You always sacrifice something, and that's fine. The most important thing you can always do yourself is to clean up your own past and be aware of your suggestions.
What do you feed them.
Literally by what you feed them, but also what you say to them. That, of course, also nurtures (educates) them.
When I look at my own boys, they are doing reasonably well. They belong, they have their own colors and their father's black-and-white quirks....
But every time I regain more color, they regain more color.
Heal yourself, Heal the world
