Having and showing appreciation is an important factor in having a nice life. Research shows that having and showing appreciation makes a unique contribution to your well-being. In doing so, appreciation is also more than gratitude, and it is precisely that appreciation for things and people in your life that can make all the difference to your well-being.
Have Appreciation
Do you think everything you get in life makes sense and is due to you? You may, but then you don't have much appreciation for what you have.
Growing up, you may still find it very logical that you get all kinds of things from your parents. That is also actually the difference between maturity and immaturity, the degree of selfishness you have. A child is actually selfish by definition and thinks he should be able to get everything.
It is precisely when you make the click that your parents work hard for everything you were given as a child, and that it may not all make as much sense at all as you imagined you make the transition to adulthood.
You also often see that after adolescence you suddenly start to appreciate your parents much more again, if you had at least a little bit of a normal loving upbringing.
Opportunities you get, it's a rewarding opportunity. Especially if you find that not everyone has those opportunities you will have extra appreciation.
This is also one of the reasons parents often talk about the hungry kids in Africa when their offspring won't have the food. It is a way to encourage appreciation.
Training appreciation have
Do you currently feel like you have very little in life? Then take a look at what you do have. Just look through the closets of your home. Grab the items you find and marvel at how much time this actually takes. Did you have more than you thought after all.
Otherwise, listen to Nina Simone's song I got Life.
In addition, you can also make a list of things you are grateful for and repeat them during self-hypnosis. If you don't know what you are grateful for, a hypnotherapist can help you figure out things you are grateful for to help you make the list that way. These might include:
- Appreciate my home.
- I appreciate my warm bed that lets me sleep every night.
- I appreciate my coffee/tea in the morning.
- I appreciate the birds singing when I get up.
- I appreciate the sunshine and refreshing rain.
- I appreciate the hot shower/my hot bath.
- Appreciate my clothes.
- I appreciate my refrigerator that keeps all my food good.
- I value my friends and/or family.
- Appreciate my colleagues.
This list is sure to include things you appreciate as well. This will go a long way toward making you more appreciative.
You can also talk about a specific event of the day, such as:
"I appreciated that colleague X took a moment to really ask how I was doing and to listen to the real answer."
Giving appreciation: why you don't
Having appreciation is one thing, giving appreciation is another. You may well have to get out of your comfort zone to do so. In addition, there are many reasons why people find it difficult to give appreciation to other people:
- The fear of rejection.
- Afraid to come across as cheap.
- Thinking you're cursing/slicing too much.
- Your ego is in the way.
- You worry about what people think about then.
- Social pressure (people around you think you don't have to).
- You think it's useless.
- You think you shouldn't.
- You don't think it's necessary.
- You think it makes sense for people to help you.
All such fears and beliefs can be removed with hypnosis.
The fear of rejection is a logical fear, but consider that at least you will have done your best to show appreciation. In the Netherlands it is also a bit of a culture to wave away helpfulness "Ah, it was nothing!" is a comment you may hear. This can feel like rejection, but it is also a way of the recipient to make his role smaller than it was as an attempt not to come across as arrogant or something similar.
Pride is a sin in the Bible. If your ego gets in the way of showing appreciation, it is a great shame. In fact, by not showing people appreciation after they have helped you with something, you can also create distance. It can even make you appear ungrateful. A real shame!
For example, if you think it's not necessary, think again. Because it certainly does matter to show your appreciation to those around you.
Giving appreciation does matter
It is important to give appreciation to those around you. In fact, it helps you build social bonds, both at work and in your personal life. As a result, you strengthen the sense of connection you have with the people around you.
You also become more optimistic and emotionally focused. This has all kinds of benefits for your well-being. So giving appreciation is very important for several reasons.
The easiest way to start giving appreciation is to call one of your parents and tell them you love them.
In doing so, you can also share something about what you are grateful for that you have inherited from your upbringing.
If you find it difficult to express your appreciation, a hypnotist can help you with a guided visualization. During this visualization, your imagination is stimulated which also makes you believe more in being able to express appreciation.
For example, a visualization can go as follows. Initially, the hypnotist induces hypnosis. This process can already be quite similar to a visualization, but it is only a relaxation exercise that helps you get into hypnosis.
Next, the guided visualization begins. It can go as follows:
"You bought a bunch of flowers for that colleague who worked overtime with you to help you with your project. This took him/her part of the evening and time is precious so you want to show that token of appreciation. You secretly asked his/her partner what flowers he/she likes and had the bouquet put together at the florist. Arriving at work, you walk up to your colleague with the bouquet and tap him on the shoulder. "Here you go" you say "because you helped me so much with my project. Would you like some coffee too?" The bouquet is accepted with a big smile and of course he/she wants coffee too. You pick this up for your colleague and then start the tasks of your day with a good feeling, knowing that you also gave your colleague that good feeling."
Expression of appreciation
Nothing is more annoying than giving a gift and not feeling that the gift is appreciated. (So if your co-worker doesn't like flowers you'll have to think of something else.) Research shows that people who give an expensive gift expect a correlation in the recipient's gratitude. The more expensive the gift, the more grateful the recipient is the reasoning.
Unfortunately, this same study shows that an expensive gift does not make the recipient more appreciative.
This is precisely why it is important to find a gift, a token of appreciation, that is truly appreciated by the recipient. A survey of the family and friends of the person you want to give a token of appreciation is therefore useful.
Do you find it difficult to do this because it makes you feel vulnerable/thankful to that person? Then a hypnotist can help you suffer less from that vulnerability.
This can be done, for example, with hypnotic suggestions that you can repeat during self-hypnosis, such as:
"It's rewarding to show my gratitude," said Dr. K.
"I get stronger from showing gratitude."
"I get more respect when I show appreciation for the helpfulness of others."
"People are more likely to want to help me when I show appreciation," he says.
These are just examples of suggestions, if these do not work for you it is best to go to a hypnotist for suggestions of your own.
Showing appreciation for what you have and for those around you is very important for your social connections and the bonds you have. There are many ways you can show appreciation, and if you research properly, it doesn't even have to be expensive, but your token of appreciation is incredibly valuable to the recipient.
Want to learn more about mental techniques that make it easier for you to show appreciation and get over your blocks? Then come to a Hypnosis Institute Netherlands event. Check out our agenda and register.
Sources:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886912000888
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103108002175
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2004.00305.x
