So what is the real problem?
When I am in a session with someone I naturally listen to what they have to say. Logically. Imagine someone has a problem, then I listen to what they have to say about that problem.
But not very well.
Not very good? No, it because it's almost never the real problem. The real problem is often something completely different and what they come up with is a symptom of that real problem.
Problem? What is the real ...
Take losing weight. 'Ed, I want to lose weight...'
So what is the real problem? Eating too much? Exercising too little? Eating "badly?
No, those are the symptoms of another problem.
Do you know this? When a child is in pain that he gets a candy as comfort? Maybe not, but this is such an example of a real problem. When there is sadness or pain start eating. And that sadness and pain is then the real problem combined with "the band-aid" the candy.
Then you can start dieting and running, but that will work up to a point. Because then if you are suddenly in pain or sad then another candy goes in. Then that cucumber doesn't work as well anyway. Let's say, not at all.
In a session, two things are important to find out, and unfortunately this is done sporadically in the mainstream.
- What it delivers
- What they avoid with it
The first, what is the benefit, is an important one. What is the disease benefit. Is Aunt Bep getting attention with her symptoms? Then she unconsciously doesn't want to get rid of those complaints. Then she doesn't get attention anymore, and that's worse than those complaints.
See what I mean? And that benefit is present in every problem. Not necessarily attention, but a gain and you need to know it. Otherwise it's going to be fighting a losing battle.
In addition, it is important to know what they are avoiding with the problem. The candy makes them stop feeling that pain. And so they avoid that pain with it.
So that pain provides the profit and in between is the problem they come up with. Are you still following it? That's what I'm going to explain today to trainees in the 3.0.
What will you do today?
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