Turning off survival mode with hypnosis

Having trouble sleeping, always feeling tense, and not really having a clear reason for it. When you’re in survival mode, the switch doesn’t turn off after the dangerous situation has passed, and you may still experience feelings of stress and alertness. This makes life difficult because you keep getting stuck in that fight, freeze, or flight mode.

This is something that often affects people who have experienced trauma . This can even be trauma from childhood[1].

A while ago, I had a session with Nina about this, and in this blog post, I’ll delve deeper into the session and the hypnosis techniques used to help her break out of survival mode. She couldn’t immediately figure out why she was in that state, and despite yoga and meditation , she wasn’t able to get out of it.

So then let's see what hypnosis can do. First I asked her if she used to have to survive a lot, too, and she did feel that way as a child. "For as long as I can remember." In her childhood, it was sometimes unsafe. Now she still has contact with her mother, but not with her father. She does have hope that someday he will see the light about the relationship with her.

This is something I hear more often and that hope, sometimes it's better to let go. For example, I once had a session with someone who was an unwanted child. On the deathbed, the mother wanted to say one more thing. That person, of course, also had the hope that love would be there for once. The last words were "I really never wanted you," and then she died.

It can even just simmer on like now. Then you're 80 and he's 100 and even then things go wrong and it's not cozy. Then you also have people who sometimes actually get meaner as they get older or as they get more demented.

So then you're still sitting there with that feeling. So it's much more manageable to do something about that feeling yourself, rather than depending on that one parent.

As for her mother, she did suffer a lot of stress from her previous relationship with the insecure father. You may then if you suffer from survival mode also have taken some of your mother with you. Violence in the environment can have all kinds of effects on children[2], such as developing a survival mode that is not easily resolved.

In the past, that survival mode might have been a solution. For example, for connecting with your mother. That you were together with your mother against the world, so to speak. Because if you didn't, then you were all alone and so was your mother and you didn't want that either.

But now as an adult, that's not necessary. That situation is completely over. Nina also recognized this feeling, but in her body the feeling lingered.

Social panorama to disconnect feeling with mother

Then I did a social panorama exercise with her. The social panorama addresses the place people have to you, which says something about the relationship you have with them. By repositioning people in your mind, you change the influence people have on your emotions and you can even change the relationship itself[3]. This is similar to family constellation[4], but it is certainly not the same.

I gave her the suggestion:

"Imagine you are thinking about your mother and you put her somewhere in a room where you are also. Could it be then that she has a place inside you? Or is she more outside of you?"

Her mother was not "in her," but her mother's energy was right in front of her.

"What would be a good place to put her?"

The best place in a social panorama is often seen as at the back, but that is not true for everyone. I've also had clients say, "Oh yeah, your mom shouldn't be behind you, she'll stab me in the back." (Doesn't have to be, of course) You never know how people feel sometimes.

So it's helpful to determine for yourself what is comfortable, whether you can put her behind you a bit as a kind of support. Try that. Close your eyes and move yourself to one side. Then the question is: Does it work? Does she want to be moved?

"I would love to have her behind me, but when I try, there's a kind of pull that she, kind of, stays in front of it."

Edwin:"What does she need to be able to move though?"

Nina: "That also makes me more relaxed and less concerned with her in my head."

Edwin:"What does she need so you have to be less concerned with her."

Nina: "Yes myself also that relaxation and seeing everything just more lighthearted."

This was the signal for me to take this step with Nina, and for this I used a different exercise. An exercise to help her relax and see her mother more lightheartedly in her mind.

Retrieving and sending feelings

I gave her the following suggestion:

"Well, just close your eyes and find for yourself an experience in your life when you felt very relaxed and lighthearted, one of those moments when everything was just nice. Okay, now I want you to think of a way to send that feeling to her, such as in your favorite color or the color that matches that feeling. Can you do that?...(Nina: Yes).... Okay, now you have to show that to her. She is open to it, so let her experience it completely. What color is that?"

Nina: "A little light yellow?"

Edwin: "Okay, make it all light yellow, from the tip of your head to the tip of your toes, all in the light yellow color. So, does that work? And is she moving now?"

Nina: "Well a little better, but she's not behind me yet, but she's moving. There is still something pulling a little bit."

What more would she need? Then "safe" came to mind.

Next, I did the same exercise, but for the feeling of safety. That feeling of safety was also colored and sent to the mother as well. So lightness and safety.

Then moving around became easier and she could put her in a place she liked better.

Lastly, she got to completely clean the place in front of her where her mother's energy hung, so that the energy was no longer there.

When I then asked her how she felt now, she indicated that she could breathe more freely. After all, she no longer had to look out into the world through that energy of her mother's. That had ended up being somewhat oppressive, and that was now gone.

It felt different to her, a little "geeky," but nice.

Her heart was still going a little fast, but it was a nice feeling. I also often call this the Rivella feeling. More people have this after doing hypnotherapy exercises.

Just to check that it was really resolved, I asked her again how her body felt. And she felt better and more connected to the earth.

Lastly, I always try to get people to pick up the unpleasant feeling again, but the more they try the more they fail. This is a check to see if the hypnosis techniques have done their job.

Then I wanted to look back at how it felt now when she would think about her father. That still felt a little heavier to her, a little with an irritation-like feeling. Even with the father, she could make the exercise of the social panorama to make the father a more pleasant place to be and to "clean" the space where her father stood.

They also allowed her father to get stuck on the floor behind her (in her mind) and it was a lot easier.

Watch the video of the session here.

Would you also like to help people who suffer from continuous survival mode? Then come to the free online master class for an introduction to hypnosis.

The techniques in this video

The exercise in the video about the social panorama is featured in the third course offered by the Hypnosis Institute of the Netherlands. Working with symbols—such as colors and evoking feelings—is precisely what you learn in the first course offered by the Hypnosis Institute of the Netherlands.

Sign up directly for one of our seminars or trainings if you want to learn immediate techniques to make people feel better. The trainings are conducted live online and with enough assistance for 1-on-1 attention so you can absorb the material well.

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