One of the best ways to eliminate anxiety

Fear is fine, until it starts to hinder you. Then it's good to do something about it.

What’s the best way to tackle anxiety? There are many different ways to tackle anxiety or to deal with a negative feeling. I won’t cover them all, but one method that works well is to face your anxiety head-on. Yes, that sounds simpler than it is—of course you want to get rid of that fear. Fear is an unpleasant feeling; anyone who’s ever dealt with it knows that. It’s one of the most terrible feelings there is, and you want to be free of it. Because you want to move toward safety and peace of mind. At the very least, you don’t want to experience fear. Anything else is better—even depression is better. If you’re depressed and you’re reading this and thinking, “Well, not at all—I’d rather have fear.” Well… Fear is terrible.

Telling anxiety to another person

Anyway, how do you tackle that? I once gave a master class on that that included 24 ways. I'm going to pick one of them and that is to let the fear go all the way off. What do I mean by that? Try writing down the worst thing that's on your mind ... Or tell someone else. Go and tell someone out of the blue. To a stranger who doesn't really know what to do with it, yes you can. With a stranger it might be more convenient too. For example, by saying on the bus, "Can I tell my biggest fear here?" and after you tell it, your fear is gone and so you get rid of it.

What's the worst that can happen?

The key is to get it out of your head and talk it through. At least get it out there. And let it all out. What’s the worst that could happen? The absolute worst? And that’s what you want to run away from, but that’s exactly where you need to go. For example: I’m afraid of flying—what’s the worst that could happen? That I crash. And that’s where people stop, and that’s not where I want to go. Okay, but what if you do crash? Often, what happens then—what they say—is: “Well, then you won’t remember anything; you’ll be dead.” Okay, so what’s so bad about that? And suddenly it’s not so bad anymore. And for some people, it’s not bad at all.

And then comes the next, "Yeah, but..." For example, "All the people I leave behind, I feel bad for those people. Okay, but well then you're out. And you think that in a year, 2 years, 3 years, 4 years. Do you think they'll make it then? 'Yes, they'll make it too'. Okay so those will make it. Have you ever lost someone? And yes you're still here too, life goes on too. 'Okay, life goes on, so what's bad about that? 'Yes, I do mind that. Okay but when I think about it like that, it's still bad but yeah...well they do go on'. 'Yeah but...' And then something comes up again.

And so it continues to say, that lid continues to open and that cesspool gets emptied you might say. With all kinds of unconscious ideas, images, thoughts or whatever. But at some point that cesspool is empty. There is little left to take out, all the worst you can think of you have taken out. If you do it with a professional who knows about this, to really drain it properly. Because yeah, by yourself you don't even know what all you have to pull out sometimes. I'm really pretty handy at that, let me put it that way.

Make it ridiculously bad

For example, I know: people with a fear of flying have often seen "air crash investigation" once. And then I start telling some things that other clients have told me of, 'hey, you know about this incident. Did you ever think that that pilot might have committed suicide with all those people in it?' 'Oh no, I haven't even thought about that, oh my god.' And then I say, 'Yes, that did happen once, OH MY GOD' and hup, then all of a sudden, it goes, I start bringing up bad things.

And that sounds separate of course because you're thinking "Yeah but then you'll make it worse. No because I'm going to tell them something that they haven't thought about yet, but that's not in their mind. And that's what I mean by when a professional does it, or someone who is very good at it. I give that image that way, in a cabaretesque way. Like a caricature I put it down. That someone is going to laugh about it. See that you say 'Have you ever thought about that' with such a tone (*serious tone) to a pilot committing suicide, oh my goddd. And then they get even more scared as they came.

But I bring it with a very different tone. So that they hear and store it in that tone. So that they suddenly think "Yes I didn't even think of that. But with that kind of tone, you know what I mean? 'Yes, I didn't even think about that, well, gosh, that's actually pretty bad.' But with that tone. They do say substantively, it's very bad but in terms of tone, in terms of attitude and state, in terms of feeling, it's funny. And this is a key-point, a key point. It's allowed to be funny. It doesn't have to be so serious.

And that's a very, very tricky thing to do yourself. Anyway, most importantly, for this episode, what I mean by it is: Get it out of your head, put it on paper and read it over. The interesting thing is: if it's out of your head and you read it over, it's already less bad. Because it is, you are dissociated, as it were, you are looking at it, you are no longer in it, you are reading it now. It can still be very bad but you are reading it so it is outside of yourself now, so to speak. It's not in your head anymore so you don't make it crazy, no it's written down now and then it's already less bad.

Change the tone

When you then also read it with a different tone, so just as if it is something funny. Yes for example like a comedian or if you can imitate characters, or like your favorite character or whatever. Then suddenly it becomes very funny and then you make new connections in your brain. So the content is still the same, that content can be a horror scenario but the sound is different. I'm always reminded of a skit by Ronald Goedemondt, where he says 'Yes in a horror movie, why don't they shoot that violinist, that saves more than half already'. And that has so much truth to it because if you were to see a horror movie where someone is being chased down a dark hallway, with some circus music under it, you'd think 'Oh, that's funny too, just like a slapstick movie'.

But when you indeed hear that violinist (*makes scary violin sounds) then you get scared actually. The image itself, the content, is not even terrifying. It's more the sounds that we make up with it, so how we think about it in a certain tone. That makes it scary, plus we're not going to let the whole movie end. Because the movie always ends well, even in a horror movie in general. It always ends well, in the sense of, everybody's dead and we live happily ever after so to speak.

And again, there are certain things in that, that you say 'Okay, yes but what if I' m dead?' I say 'Yes, then you're dead.' And yes, but what do you believe what's after death? 'Yes, I hope there is something'. Well leave out the 'hope' then, there's just something. And then, 'Yes, then it's actually fine too'. And some people think 'Yes there is nothing at all'. Then it's also fine then. Then there is nothing at all so then you don't know either. 'Oh yeah, yeah' - nothing at all so.

So lets watch it all the way through, right down to the credits, for example. The movie is done, the credits have been, the picture is on black or the picture is on white, just whatever is your favorite or a different color. And it's done, the movie is over. And yes you can go and start it again, you can, but you now know the ending: it's going to end well. So you don't have to fret about the middle part anymore, and that's one of the most effective ways to tackle a fear. Take advantage of it.

Be sure to listen to this podcast as well:

These are just a few techniques used in hypnotherapy. Would you like to learn more about hypnosis? Then sign up for the free online masterclass on hypnosis.

Or sign up directly for one of the trainings if you too want to use humor to help people get rid of their fears. Click here for the first training.