Hypnotized by the right choice...or not....
Hypnotized by the right choice...or not....
February 03, 2014
in Tips
3 min reading time

Hypnotized by the right choice...or not....

We humans are pretty interesting. Often we think we are making a good choice, but sometimes that is not the case at all. You then think you are doing something very well, making the right choice, and that choice may even cause it to affect the rest of your life. One interesting study involved choosing the right school

Choosing the right school

I myself am in the middle of it. My oldest son has to choose high school and, of course, you want the best for your child. But what is the best. If you are guided by achievements, success schools and the best educations, you may well go badly wrong.

As a parent, you want the best for your child. You want to give them the opportunities you didn't have and save them from the wrong decisions you made. Then you see parents making decisions that seem right but are.

How do we make decisions? Do we do it with our reason or with our feelings. Do we look at the facts or are we influenced by other things. And yes the facts, what does that really mean.

Imagine you can choose from 2 schools.

Let's say two universities. One university is regarded as the best university in the Netherlands and the other as less than mediocre.

Your son is gifted, very smart, skipped a class and in vwo he was one of the top students in his class. He is graduating from vwo with high grades and a brilliant career lies ahead of him.

What would you do? What would you advise your son to choose? Go for the prestigious university or the mediocre one.

The choice is easy or not...

The choice seems easy enough, your son is smart enough, performs like one of the best so your choice will probably go to the prestigious university. He's going to get there just fine, at least that's what you assume and that's where the shoe pinches. You are hypnotized and you have created an unconscious automatic program that makes you think this is the best decision.

Because it makes sense after all. He goes there, graduates from the university that is highly regarded, has a diploma with that university's name on it and all the doors swing open, you hope.

But for most, this is false hope. It's not true, and I'll explain why.

In the book David and Goliath, Malcolm Gladwell explains this phenomenon. They compared test scores from Harvard University (the most prestigious university in the world) and Hartwick college (a small university).

Hartwick's top students' scores came to 569, on a test where you could score 800 points. Harvard students, of course, did many times better with a score of 753. These were the top of both universities.

The worst scoring achieved 407 at Hartwick and 581 at Harvard, respectively . You see the "worst" at Harvard still beat the best at Hartwick on the test.

But then...

HarvardThey started looking at what it yielded and they found out that Harvard's top-ranking students published about 3 to 4 articles early in their careers in reputable journals, gaining fame in their field. That's really quite an achievement.

Those who performed the worst on the test at Harvard published an average of 0.07 articles in those years after and thus get far fewer opportunities and also lesser jobs than the best scoring ones. This is also quite logical, but then.

The top ranked on Hartwick published an average of 2.5 articles in subsequent years. Interesting statistic right? Even though they scored worse on the test and were therefore less smart.

The environment is important

What they discovered is that the environment where you go to learn determines whether you will also have better opportunities. When you are smart and you go to Harvard you get to be around all smart people and often smarter than you. You are then going to feel dumber and more likely to give up.

If you are smart and you choose a school where you can excel it does something to your self-confidence and you were offered better jobs with better pay.

So if you have to choose for your son or daughter, first think carefully about whether you want to send him or her to that competitive, best-performing school. You may be depriving him of the very opportunity to become really good....

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About the author
Edwin Selij is owner and founder of Hypnose Instituut Nederland and provides training in Hypnosis. He is author of the books "You Don't Have It You Do It" and "Break Free!" and regularly appears on radio and TV to talk about hypnosis. He is the #1 Hypnosis Trainer in the Netherlands and has been giving hypnosis training for years. He was the first in the Netherlands to teach modern hypnotherapy via livestream.
Tiny
By

Tiny

on 04 Feb 2014

Personally, I’m a bit of a contrarian and would indeed not choose what someone else might quickly choose. But here, it’s about your child’s choice. The most important thing is that your son feels comfortable in his own skin and makes the choice that’s right for him. Regardless of whether you personally think it’s the right choice. Your son has the right to make exactly the same “mistakes” as you did. Young people often make their choices based on entirely different factors. They tend to see things through a different lens than their parents. Parents prioritize quality, whereas a child is more likely to prioritize a fun and welcoming atmosphere. In my opinion, a child performs best in an environment where they can feel “at home.” That’s why I think it’s a good idea to let your son make this decision. Even if you were to map out a path for him where he wouldn’t make the same “mistakes” as you, he’d still make other “mistakes”—and he’ll learn from those, too. Maybe you should make it more of a choice for the child than a choice for the parent. And they don’t really focus on the factors mentioned in the article. In my opinion, the claims in the article are valid; I would definitely go for the less popular school.

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