What is very interesting is human behavior. People can fascinate me beyond belief and not least myself. What drives someone to do what they do and why do people do what they do. Especially the why is important, of course, but why do you do something.
Why do you?
Do you know that question? Why do you? You've probably heard it from someone and certainly when you were little. And did you know why you did it? 99 times out of 100, you don't even know how to articulate it. Logic often fails you and especially when you are little.
Shrugging my shoulders, I see my little son standing there when I sometimes angrily say to him, "Why are you hitting your little brother... He has no idea. It happens and he doesn't really have a logical explanation yet. Later you do. Then you have all kinds of logical explanations for your behavior, but is that really the explanation?
It's interesting when you think about it, and when you know it, then again, it's very simple. But then again, everything you know is simple or at least understandable.
Why do you do something? You do it because it benefits you in some way. It may cause you to experience more pleasure or less pain.Why you do something drives what you do. The actions you do, say, feel or see stem from a "why" or as you might also call it "a value.
The values of why
Why you do something fulfills a value for you. It may be that you value safety in your life and therefore always " play it safe" in your behavior. You take little to no risks and stay in the background in groups. This could be an expression that is driven from the value of "safety.
When you know what values are active in you then you can also change them. You can rearrange them. With (self)hypnosis you can do that so that you almost naturally start doing something else, but how do you do that and how do you find out?
Imagine for a moment we take the context "relationship," because in any context there can be a different order of values and even very different values. So, for now let's take the context 'relationship'.
Then ask yourself: “What is important to me in a relationship?”
Then you ask, “And what else…?”
And you repeat that until you have about 6 to 10 keywords. Those are your values.
For example: respect, love, attention, connection, safety, trust, security, etc..
Now that you have that, you can rank them in order of importance. You then play them off against each other as it were, so then you get.
What do I value more… respect or love?
And so you keep going until you’ve established a hierarchy of your values. If you can’t figure it out, you can also ask the question:
“What if there were never any more respect, but there was love—what then?”
If you then have your values then there are also criteria that must be met. For how do you know when there is love or respect or trust? And what needs to happen so that you know there is trust, respect or love? (or whatever value...)
We then call those conditions criteria. Those are very important to know because sometimes they are not very convenient. You want to organize them so that you are going to have more responsibility in your life and not have to depend on others, right?
When you have an order, realize that these values want to be fulfilled at all times, so if you feel an emptiness then that is a value that is not fulfilled. If you know which value that is, then you can take targeted steps and create a perfect life much more consciously.
In the hypnosis masterpractitioner we pay a lot of attention to this, but you can start doing the same now. When you know why you do things and start living more according to your values you will have a more valuable life. You will be amazed at the impact it has in your life.
Please share this article with your network using the buttons below if you think they too deserve a more valuable life and leave a comment. I look forward to hearing about your values!
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on 07 Jun 2014