Control the frame and you control the conversation
A frame is the framework in which in a conversation is located. If I start talking about cars then the frame is cars and the conversation is about cars. Could you then say that I am leading the conversation? Maybe so, but maybe not at all. Someone else with a lot of knowledge about cars can take the whole conversation to themselves and thus control the frame and thus control the conversation. How do you control the frame
How to Check the Frame
Those who control the frame control the conversation and the situation. This often happens on a subconscious level. They don't say for nothing, a first impression you make only once and often determines how people perceive you. That first impression may have been determined long before anyone sees you.
Imagine you have a meeting with someone and you are invited to an appointment. The person who invited you for an interview such as in a job application or a sales call or whatever the interview is, checks the frame. Especially in the case of a job application or a sales call, the other person is the frame holder.
As long as the other person controls the frame, you are in a weak position and it is difficult to get your point across. So you need to make sure jet controls the frame, but how do you do that?
What frames are there
There are several frames and these frames I want to highlight briefly:
- Powerframes
- The analytical frame
You come across these 2 frames often and you should imagine in this way that we all have a frame. However, only 1 can win and the strongest frame will absorb the other. You also feel it. When you laugh along at a stupid joke when you don't really want to laugh along but do it because it's your boss, your boss is in control.
Powerframes
Most common frames are power frames and this manifests through status, power, money or rank. In the animal world, the alpha male is in charge and in humans it is no different. Of course, this can also be a woman 😉
The best thing you can bring against a powerframe is a stronger powerframe. Show who is in charge, and that can be done in a variety of ways. For example, by doing an interjection that puts you back in control or coming up with something that allows you to show your power.
For a hypnotist, it's pretty easy. If someone has a strong power frame I ask, "What do you actually do? I'm a hypnotist, I hypnotize people and I'm very good at it...'
You can imagine what that does to someone. My frame collides head-on with his frame and immediately absorbs the frame. In that moment, I have the power and there are more ways like that. Storytelling is also a way of a power frame because you only have 2 kinds of people then, the storyteller and the listeners. The storyteller obviously controls the frame.
In addition, you have another frame, the analytical frame. These are the people who want all the facts and figures. Those want to draw the frame to themselves by wanting to know exactly everything. If you don't want that, you can break it by throwing an interesting story at it. It makes you reclaim the frame and start checking again.
Own the Frame,Win the Game
This statement comes from the book Pitch Anything by Oren Klaff, and there is more in it about frames. For example, when you use the
Who attracts attention, who everyone laughs at and who everyone listens to. Why does that person attract attention? Is he shouting loudly? Probably not ... so ...
What frame does he have? Observing this phenomenon is very interesting and it can give a lot of insight into how you can control the frame.
How to grab the frame
The way to grab the frame is to activate the reptilian brain of those around you. You do that by doing something distinctive, confusing or dangerous. Now I certainly won't recommend the latter, but the first two can certainly come in handy.
When you interject, you are often doing something confusing. If you then also say something new and interesting you have the attention and control the frame. Fun to experiment with during Christmas!
What will make you even better is learning quantum hypnosis, because that will definitely enable you to control the frame. The conversational hypnosis course is on sale these days, so head over here quickly if you really want to become skilled at frame control.
Happy days!