Being afraid to go to sleep: ways to rest anyway

Being afraid to go to sleep is something people expect mainly from children, but some adults and the elderly can also have a fear of sleep. This can have all kinds of causes, and therefore all kinds of solutions are also possible. In this blog, you are going to find out why some people are afraid to go to sleep and what can be done about it.

Child afraid to sleep

A child afraid to sleep is an idea most people are familiar with. This is because the child is then alone and can imagine all sorts of things about what might be in the dark corners of the room. For example, when a child is afraid to sleep, it would like to lie in bed with its parents for a while, preferably all night 😉[1].

A child who is afraid to sleep also sleeps worse. The child finds it harder to fall asleep, wakes up more often during the night and sleep time is generally shorter[2]. This is also more inconvenient for their overall mental health (source 1).

It is important for the child to overcome the fear of sleeping so they can live more independently, feel better mentally, and so parents can get a good night's sleep as well.

With children’s hypnosis, you can also treat fear of sleeping and sleep terrors. The great thing is that with children’s hypnosis, you help the children themselves come up with a solution to their problem—a mental trick that allows them to overcome their fear, as it were. This also ensures that the changes are long-lasting[3].

Hypnosis for children often works the same way as it does for adults, except that inducing hypnosis is simpler, and it’s important to speak and offer suggestions at the child’s level.

Parents can also do a lot. For example, if a child suffers from nightmares, a dreamcatcher can be a good suggestion for the child. The child will then believe that the dreamcatcher keeps the nightmares at bay. In addition, you can also suggest that even if a bad dream starts, it doesn’t have to end badly (source 6).

Fear of Sleep Trauma

Fear of sleeping is also often a symptom of people suffering from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). This can remain a problem even though you have already resolved the worst symptoms of PTSD. You then have virtually nothing really bothering you anymore, so to speak, except being afraid to go to sleep which can cause you to suffer from long-term sleep problems[4].

On the contrary, other studies indicate that fear of sleeping contributes to the development of PTSD[5].

One reason why trauma might make you afraid of sleeping is because you suffer from nightmares. Especially if those nightmares cause you to relive the trauma, this can make you genuinely prefer to stay awake. However, that’s not helpful for your daily functioning. So, being afraid of sleeping can really put you in an impossible situation.

Another reason people with trauma have a fear of sleeping is because it puts them at the mercy of their environment. After all, you are not aware of your surroundings while sleeping, and if you sleep very deeply, someone can surprise you. You actually want to be alert at all times then, but that's just not possible with sleep.

For anxiety about sleeping due to trauma, cognitive behavioral therapy can help address thoughts that are not helpful before sleeping. For example, if you think it's dangerous to fall asleep, a therapist can help you figure out why you think that and how you can face that problem as well, so that you actually feel normal or safe before going to sleep (source 5).

Trauma can also lead to unconscious conflicts, causing a fear of sleeping. Hypnotherapy can therefore be very helpful in resolving these unconscious conflicts, so that you can sleep soundly[6].

In addition, you may also have habits before bed that don't help you sleep well. For example, fear of danger can make you want the lights on, which also makes it difficult to sleep (source 3). By then using hypnosis to change your pre-bedtime ritual, you can do a lot to still sleep with the lights off, for example, but with the doors locked 😉 .

Hypnosis can be well used to treat nightmares and trauma[7]. For example, hypnosis can help you give the traumatic event a place, it can help you with your coping skills, and it can help you feel like you can do something again.

For example, regression can help you process trauma. In addition, calming visualizations can help you during stressful moments, so you don’t trigger memories. Furthermore, strengthening your ego can help restore your self-confidence so you can function again. Who knows—you might even turn your PTSD into post-traumatic growth.

Even older people can change nightmares through hypnotic suggestions, such as the idea that you can influence the dream or, like television, click away from one dream to another more enjoyable dream (source 6).

Afraid to sleep because of death

Another reason to be afraid to sleep is the fear of not waking up, but peacefully passing away in your sleep. If you are not ready for this, this can cause you to find it difficult to go to sleep.

For example, people who suffer from sleep apnea may be afraid of suffocating in their sleep or feel embarrassed by the loud snoring caused by sleep apnea[8]. Fortunately, sleep apnea can be treated fairly effectively with devices that deliver air to the lungs. Sleep apnea is often caused by being significantly overweight or by a person’s body type. Therefore, weight loss isn’t a solution for everyone who suffers from sleep apnea.

Do you already have that sleep apnea device but are still afraid to sleep because of your fear of suffocating? Then it’s a good idea to seek treatment for that fear so you can sleep peacefully again.

In addition, you may also have suffered from health problems, such as with your heart, that have suddenly made you much more afraid of dying anyway, and that can also cause you to become afraid to go to sleep[9].

In this case, it may not be the fear of going to sleep that needs to be overcome, but rather the fear of dying. Techniques of Erickson are often used to address these types of existential fears[10].

This involves, for example, using metaphors and reframing your perspective on certain problems. If, for instance, you already have that device for sleep apnea, then the fear of death has actually become quite unreasonable. After all, there’s a solution. If you’ve had health problems but they’ve been resolved, even then the fear of death has actually become less significant compared to when your health problems were still unresolved.

You can also reduce the fear of the afterlife with hypnosis by finding out what your expectations are, what you find exciting about it, and how you can face it as well.

If it is already too late, hypnosis can even help, as it is also used in palliative care, helping you cope with the closing part of your life. For example, by realizing that your life is your own unique story that no one else has experienced, and how to mentally shut things down if you're still a little stuck with it.

Hypnosis can thus help children with anxiety by working with metaphors. Regression can be used when trauma and nightmares cause you to feel anxious about going to sleep, and with a fear of dying during sleep, hypnosis can also do a lot. For example, by reframing your view of the problem and with Ericksonian hypnosis techniques.

Are you curious about what hypnosis can do? Then come to the free online master class on hypnosis.

Want to know about Ericksonian techniques and how to work with metaphors and the like? Then come to one of our seminars or enroll in one of our trainings, which are available online and in class. Before you start, choose a form of training that suits you.

If you just have fears you want to get rid of, visit bestetherapeut.co.uk.

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